I couldn't accept what Happened

[Yuri333]

This happened just 2 days ago and I Don't know how I can move on from this

Sunday Morning I found my 4 years old cat no appetite, he doesn't want to eat anything then I noticed he's struggling to pee, it's possible that this isn't the first day, I just didn't noticed it because I got too busy at school and work. it was sunday and our vet is closed so I thought I will bring him to the vet in the Morning. I look for some home remedies that can help and I saw a youtube video that says ACV can help, So I rushed to the market to get one and gave about 1ml of pure acv, It's already late when I found out that I have to mix it with water, after giving him that he started coughing, and drooling, I feel like by forcing him to drink it went to his lungs, he started breathing heavily, after a few hours it gets worst he started vomiting. At 2am I tried searching for emergeny vets coz his breathing is getting worst, I found one and I woke up my mom to go there, we spent quite a lot of minutes looking for a ride. I was holding him, and I felt it, he died in my arms, he didn't make it to the vet, I stopped walking and told my mom he's gone. And it's my fault. 

[KayC]

I drink ACV with mother every day for my health (diluted).  If your cat was struggling to pee, he had something else going on.  But I'm sorry to hear this is how he went out, it sounds horrible, I am just so sorry!  I don't think you killed your cat though, it likely was something too far gone to make a real difference, perhaps uti.  4 years old is pretty young  but I've heard of other cats younger dying when something else is going on.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.