Husband 49 years old terminal and ANGRY

[31young years]

This is my first time, we have been married for 31 years, as my husband’s health has taken a turn for the worst with Heart failure, he’s like Dr. Jeckl and Mr. Hyde, very negative, moody, argumentative, just plain mean to everyone, we have 1 child she lives on her own and she sees the mood swings and just the nasty attitude. I think he’s angry of the situation and it’s just so hard to be around him everyday 

[reader]

Dear 31young years,

I am sorry to hear what you are dealing with. It is understandable that seeing these drastic changes in a loved one can be overwhelming and painful. I want so much for you to have more support. I hope a social worker or counsellor will be helpful. I also found a lot of support at this website for caregivers.

https://www.agingcare.com/

Thinking of you. x 

[Ronni_W]

On 7/30/2022 at 6:13 PM, 31young years said:

[...] like Dr. Jeckl and Mr. Hyde, very negative, moody, argumentative, just plain mean to everyone,[...] I think he’s angry of the situation and it’s just so hard to be around him everyday 

Dear 31young years,

My heart goes out to you and your daughter.   Even while it is 'normal' and 'to be expected' for people suffering from a terminal or life-altering, or potentially terminal or life-altering, illness to feel confused, angry, resentful, afraid, etc., their illness does not actually give them any license or entitlement to emotionally belittle or attack the people who love them and decide to stay with them or be their end-of-life caregivers.

Fact is that the book 'On Death and Dying' was written for people facing their own mortality, NOT for people grieving the loss, to death, of someone they loved. Those who are facing their own mortality need to learn how to face and deal, in healthy, functional and constructive ways, with their own imminent death; they cannot just start to mistreat loved ones, family and friends, just because they are scared, pissed off, in shock, etc.

reader, (above), offers sound advice to seek professional counseling and support -- for you also, and also for your husband. It is NOT okay for him to turn himself into a mean person just because his own health is failing.

Wishing you and all of your entire family the very best outcomes.   Ronni