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How do you go on?


LissaKarina

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My daughter was 17 when she passed away. She was a Senior in High School, and was an Honor Student. She was loved by everyone, and loved everyone.

I remember the day she passed away so vividly. We spent the whole day getting her ready for Prom. She was Prom Queen and was so excited. She took photos

with me, her father and some with her dog. It was a perfect evening. She was such as daddy's girl, and her father was so proud of everything she accomplished

at school so he bought her a necklace with an owl charm(owls were their thing) and then she was on her way. She called to say she got to the hotel fine

(they had the prom at a hotel) and sent us a couple of pictures during the night of her and some friends. At 2:43a.m. she sent me a text saying she was on

her way home from the dance after going to an after party at a friends house. She went to a Private Christian school, and had a small class of nineteen.

I went to sleep knowing she was on her way home. But I woke up in the morning and I called her so she could tell me all about her night, as we had done so

many other times when she went to dances. But she didn't come down. We called her phone several times, but it never even rang, we called her friends and

no one answered. We called the police and they asked us several questions, then they informed us there was an accident around three in the morning. They

couldn't identify the body, but a vehicle hit a metal pole by the interstate at 75mph. It wasn't apparent wether the driver was wearing a seatbelt, but she was thrown

out of the car. My husband had on channel 6 when I went to give him the phone, and he couldn't breathe when he saw the car on the news. It was hers.

A silver 2010 Charger, we had just gotten it for her. She fell asleep at the wheel, and hit the pole. I felt so guilty. My little girl, was gone. All nineteen of her classmates, and

several children from other grades came to her service, they planted a tree at her school, and she was included in the graduation. They had a video of her singing to

some of the younger students and a video of her singing their class song, "You've Got A Friend In Me" They announced her name as a graduate, and had a couple of

students name things that reminded them of her. Ie: Penguins, Headbands, Flowers, Smiles, Mickey Mouse band-aids. Everyone was crying. I still feel like that day when I found

out. Like I can't get enough air, like I'm getting stabbed, over and over again. I can't smile, because I don't have her, I wake up everyday, having to know she's not with me.

How do ever get over that?

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Hello Lissa

Welcome to the Indigo family of Parents who have asked the same question as you have and who come here regularly to encourage and comfort each other

We understand the pain and know that we will never be the same Connecting with others who truly understand helps.

I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your precious daughter Come here often Post an album of your lovely daughter in the Gallery section, and tells us more and more about your special child. We listen

I lost my only child, Stephen over 4 years ago and coming here, posting, reading and connecting helped to save my sanity.

I would like to suggest that the next time you post go to the

Loss of an Adult Child

section on this board and click on the "Reply " button and post That is where most parents post and more will respond to you and offer their love and empathy

Keep coming back.

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Tweetymm125@aol.com

My daughter was 17 when she passed away. She was a Senior in High School, and was an Honor Student. She was loved by everyone, and loved everyone.

I remember the day she passed away so vividly. We spent the whole day getting her ready for Prom. She was Prom Queen and was so excited. She took photos

with me, her father and some with her dog. It was a perfect evening. She was such as daddy's girl, and her father was so proud of everything she accomplished

at school so he bought her a necklace with an owl charm(owls were their thing) and then she was on her way. She called to say she got to the hotel fine

(they had the prom at a hotel) and sent us a couple of pictures during the night of her and some friends. At 2:43a.m. she sent me a text saying she was on

her way home from the dance after going to an after party at a friends house. She went to a Private Christian school, and had a small class of nineteen.

I went to sleep knowing she was on her way home. But I woke up in the morning and I called her so she could tell me all about her night, as we had done so

many other times when she went to dances. But she didn't come down. We called her phone several times, but it never even rang, we called her friends and

no one answered. We called the police and they asked us several questions, then they informed us there was an accident around three in the morning. They

couldn't identify the body, but a vehicle hit a metal pole by the interstate at 75mph. It wasn't apparent wether the driver was wearing a seatbelt, but she was thrown

out of the car. My husband had on channel 6 when I went to give him the phone, and he couldn't breathe when he saw the car on the news. It was hers.

A silver 2010 Charger, we had just gotten it for her. She fell asleep at the wheel, and hit the pole. I felt so guilty. My little girl, was gone. All nineteen of her classmates, and

several children from other grades came to her service, they planted a tree at her school, and she was included in the graduation. They had a video of her singing to

some of the younger students and a video of her singing their class song, "You've Got A Friend In Me" They announced her name as a graduate, and had a couple of

students name things that reminded them of her. Ie: Penguins, Headbands, Flowers, Smiles, Mickey Mouse band-aids. Everyone was crying. I still feel like that day when I found

out. Like I can't get enough air, like I'm getting stabbed, over and over again. I can't smile, because I don't have her, I wake up everyday, having to know she's not with me.

How do ever get over that?

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LissaKarina, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter! We never get over it, but we do learn to live with it. It takes a long, long time, though. We will be honored to walk with you as you find your footing. Please come to "Loss of an adult child". It is a more active thread and you will be greeted by others who have been on this journey longer than I. There are wonderful, compassionate souls (like Betty) who will take your hand and help you through the rough spots.

I lost my 28yr old daughter on 8-9-09 to an ATV accident. I will never be the same as I was before her death, but I am much better than I was during that first year. We find a new normal. Please visit us at the adult child thread....it's just a more active thread, that's all.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

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I am still new at this so I don't if I can be of much help...but know that I am 8 weeks into losing my beautiful 21 year old daughter from the most ridiculous car accident... Driver walked away....she died at the scene ....how are we supposed to live through this pain?????

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Hi Again

This road is extremely rough and difficult I have lived with this pain for 4 years after the loss of my only child Stephen. I know that coming here, posting, Reading and feeling connected to others who are walking the same road saved my sanity. Please visit the "Loss of Adult Child "portion of this Site, read and post by clicking on the "Reply " button. You will be greeted with much compassion and understanding

. I also found that going to the "Gallery Section" on this Site and setting up a special album with precious memories of my son, was very helpful

Keep coming back

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I lost my 34 year old son in October 2011 of cancer. I took care of him until the very end. I cannot stop thinking of him or stop crying. I have tried to think of all the good times we had but it does not seem to matter. I miss him so much. I have an older son and daughter-in-law and 2 grandchildren by my oldest son. I do not know how to make this better. I am in 2 support groups but nothing seems to help. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Barb57 - I am so sorry for the loss of your son. You ask the question "how do you go on?" That is a

question we all ask but don't really have an answer for. It just sort of happens whether we like it or

not. I lost my 29 year old daughter on August 18, 2010 from leukemia. I'm not sure how I got to today,

except to say that I kept waking up every morning and really had not a lot of choice in the matter. Most

days I would have rather not woken up, but I did. Each and every day since has been hard but I made

it through. This is not in any way to minimize your pain or make light of what you're going through, merely

to say that somehow we do it. I have been searching my heart out to make some kind of sense of this,

and I haven't come up with any sense at all. Why your son, why my daughter?

May I encourage you to visit the "loss of an adult child" thread of this website. It is a very active thread

with many, many wonderful people who are walking the same road we are. It is really helpful to write

your thoughts, feelings, memories out and have people know of what you speak.

My prayers to you Barb57 on this New Year's Eve. May you find some peace.

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My name is Jennifer Scalise. I lost my daughter Brooke on July 13, 2009 while we were on vacation in Costa Rica. We were on a half-day excursion and on our way back to the resort. The tour guides decided to take us back a different way, a dangerous way. We were on ATVs part of the day and in a very safe environment on the beach. This time they took us up a cliff that had a 90 degree turn at the top with no guard rail to protect us. There were several children on this tour... my Brooke didn't make the turn and fell 260 ft. My little angel left me so many wonderful treasures that I've uncovered back at home, it was as if her soul knew she would be called home before her time. Although every day is still a challenge, I have come to know an amazing peace and strength with proof that our loved ones never leave our sides. There is a very thin veil between this life and the next. My story is helping many, and as we all continue to embrace our life journey here, I'm hopeful I can help you too. If you'd like to learn more about my daughter and her amazing story, please visit www.jenniferscaliseauthor.com or www.brookesavealife.org. "A Mothers Journey of Love, Loss & Life Beyond" is the title of the legacy I wrote about Brooke and the gifts she continues to offer to all of us. I hope you visit us and find a little peace today. Their memories are etched in our hearts forever, aren't they.

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