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3 weeks ago tonight I lost my Forever


ForeverScotts

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ForeverScotts

3 weeks ago tonight my world changed forever... my fiance was on his way to my house driving along the 401, had a massive heart attack and was gone before the car came to a stop (Thankfully! No one else was involved in the collison) His last text was to me at 11pm and the emergancy response call was logged at 11:04...3 days prior we spent time planning our wedding for Oct 6th 2012...in the blink of an eye, I was planning his funeral... I am so completely lost.... if not for my children and grandbabies I would have be completly happy to go with him.. my heart actually hurts, I cant think and I am SO Very tired of hearing people tell me I will be OK....or that I should not let this comsume me...people dont seem to realise that for the past year and a half he was a huge part of my everyday life, we shared Everything... he spent 16 years with a woman he didnt love,,and so often told me he didnt know what love was until he met me...for a good part of that 16 yrs he was not really close with his family....we spent so much time with his family, even bought a trailer this summer where not only his parents were but alot of his extended family...His parents even went as far as Thanking me for bringing their son back into their lives....just seems that now Im left alone to deal with this...we were not married but the trailer is ours, apparently his parents are selling it and giving his ex the money.(for his 2 children) .I dont think thats fair..it was not just his and I feel like I need to hold onto everything of his...as if losing him isnt enough of a heart ache, I feel like I have lost his family as well...... this just sucks!! I dont know why after looking for my Forever, and finally finding Scott, that he would be taken away from me..we had so many plans and dreams......

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Hello ForeverScotts...

Your story seems so familiar to mine, as like You and Scott, Dennis and I were both in relationships that we were not loved. I was w/ my ex for 16 years and he was w/ his for 20. When we finally met, we were soul mates. Nothing could tear us apart and we did spend everyday together. We were fortunate to be able to marry this past may but then he passed on Oct. 9th. So, we didn't quite make our 5 month anniversary. Also, like You and Scott, Dennis had not been close to part of his family, esp. 2 sons but once we came back to WI.. I was able to reunite everyone!

I do believe that some people do not know what to say! I have received cards from his parents sides of family and cards saying, oh i heard Dennis was not doing well but i didn't expect this! Well, my Husband had a disability in his legs but he was NOT on deaths door stop! He also had an unexpected heart attack. Like You, I had just spoken w/ Dennis a few minutes earlier. So, i feel helpless, as i think, maybe i should have gone into the bedroom a minute sooner.. Would it have made a difference.

I can't tell you why, that once you find Your true love, that God decides to take Him.. I am still trying to figure that out myself w/ no answers.. I know, i feel like life will not be ok! I also completely understand what you are saying about your heart physically hurting cause mine has and still is... Just remember, You are not alone in this little forum world.. Your story is so much like mine and like you - I finally found my forever and we also had LOTS of plans and dreams.. Now i try to wake up everyday... and wonder why? I go to bed every night holding a bear i had given him as soon as we started being w/ each other and i sleep and cry myself to sleep everynight also w/ a pic of us... Ever need to chat, please feel free to msg me.. I know sometimes, when i talk to someone about Dennis, it makes my heart happy to think of My True Loving Prince!

Try and Rest some,

Dawn

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ForeverScotts

Thank You Dawn,

Im so sorry for Your Loss....its a terrible pain we feel inside, I have people calling and asking how Im doing and of course Im Not doing...and so often these past couple of days have heard you need to get over this OR dont let this consume you!! and all I can think is What The H*ll?????? unless they have had to go thru this..they just dont understand... sleep altho had to find is a blessing to me due to the fact when I sleep Im not aware of my world..staying asleep is another issue.... :(

Your story seems so familiar to mine, as like You and Scott, Dennis and I were both in relationships that we were not loved. I was w/ my ex for 16 years and he was w/ his for 20. When we finally met, we were soul mates. Nothing could tear us apart and we did spend everyday together. We were fortunate to be able to marry this past may but then he passed on Oct. 9th. So, we didn't quite make our 5 month anniversary. Also, like You and Scott, Dennis had not been close to part of his family, esp. 2 sons but once we came back to WI.. I was able to reunite everyone!

I do believe that some people do not know what to say! I have received cards from his parents sides of family and cards saying, oh i heard Dennis was not doing well but i didn't expect this! Well, my Husband had a disability in his legs but he was NOT on deaths door stop! He also had an unexpected heart attack. Like You, I had just spoken w/ Dennis a few minutes earlier. So, i feel helpless, as i think, maybe i should have gone into the bedroom a minute sooner.. Would it have made a difference.

I can't tell you why, that once you find Your true love, that God decides to take Him.. I am still trying to figure that out myself w/ no answers.. I know, i feel like life will not be ok! I also completely understand what you are saying about your heart physically hurting cause mine has and still is... Just remember, You are not alone in this little forum world.. Your story is so much like mine and like you - I finally found my forever and we also had LOTS of plans and dreams.. Now i try to wake up everyday... and wonder why? I go to bed every night holding a bear i had given him as soon as we started being w/ each other and i sleep and cry myself to sleep everynight also w/ a pic of us... Ever need to chat, please feel free to msg me.. I know sometimes, when i talk to someone about Dennis, it makes my heart happy to think of My True Loving Prince!

Try and Rest some,

Dawn

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I have been fortunate in that way, as no one has said "get over it or don't let it consume me".... I think because most of all i speak w/ are real close family friends or i speak w/ his kids... I am very fortunate to have their love and i cherish each one as they were my own... and mind ya, we are about the same age... lol I have just recently been able to sleep in our bed but when i fall asleep... i sleep.. i do wake occassionally during the night, esp saturdays into sundays (when he passed)... I am working currently for the season but have to be on my feet all day and i am soo sore and ache so much. I know this is part of the reason wanted me to go to school... so i can get an office job and not be on my feet all day... I stood around all day and wondered why? Why my prince? Why did he have to be taken from me? I don't know but i do know it does hurt like"h$ell"! I can picture my prince's body.. from his toes to his head.. He always thought i was crazy cause i told him he was SO handsome.. He told me i needed goggles.. lmao! He even made a story about him and i.. and i treasure that story close to my heart.. I know i am rambling on and i am sorry... but you are not alone.. and i also want to know why Dennis could not stay w/ me... At this point, i don't believe the pain lessons... Hope You get rest tonight.....

Dawn

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ForeverScotts

Dawn,,, unfortunately I think we will always have the question WHY??? I absolutley dont mind your so called rambling about Dennis!! I love talking about Scott,,and do to anyone that will listen to me... any time you want to talk I am here.. sending you (((HUGS)))) xoxo

I have been fortunate in that way, as no one has said "get over it or don't let it consume me".... I think because most of all i speak w/ are real close family friends or i speak w/ his kids... I am very fortunate to have their love and i cherish each one as they were my own... and mind ya, we are about the same age... lol I have just recently been able to sleep in our bed but when i fall asleep... i sleep.. i do wake occassionally during the night, esp saturdays into sundays (when he passed)... I am working currently for the season but have to be on my feet all day and i am soo sore and ache so much. I know this is part of the reason wanted me to go to school... so i can get an office job and not be on my feet all day... I stood around all day and wondered why? Why my prince? Why did he have to be taken from me? I don't know but i do know it does hurt like"h$ell"! I can picture my prince's body.. from his toes to his head.. He always thought i was crazy cause i told him he was SO handsome.. He told me i needed goggles.. lmao! He even made a story about him and i.. and i treasure that story close to my heart.. I know i am rambling on and i am sorry... but you are not alone.. and i also want to know why Dennis could not stay w/ me... At this point, i don't believe the pain lessons... Hope You get rest tonight.....

Dawn

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I am working 2 part time jobs currently but i should be off this weekend! Woo Hoo!.. Maybe i will look to see if you are on... I know We (Dennis Family) is celebrating Thanksgiving on Saturday but on sunday, i plan to be home... I do LOVE talking about Dennis too! We were together 3 years total and it feels like 30 cause we had soo much in common. I miss my prince! Have a good night!

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