my 14 yr old daughter, Jorden......is so missed

[tammill]

Four weeks ago, my 14 year old daughter, Jorden, was killed in a car accident. It happened on October 15/2011. She was with her friend, Danae, also 14 and two older boys that were 16. They all died in the tragic accident that has devastated our small town. It has devastated our lives beyond measure. Never did I think this could happen to our family. Life is just so precious. When we couldn't reach our teenagers that night, we knew something was very wrong. All of their cell phones went to being out of the service range which seemed so odd. My husband started looking for them at midnight when they didn't make their 11:30 curfew. The girls were supposed to be together at Danae's house but obviously their plans changed and they didn't tell us. They went for a drive with the boys---and I'm positive the boys were bringing the girls home when the accident happened. We had family and friends out looking for our missing children---so many were helping us. I was at home with my younger children and I just had the worst gut feeling that this wasn't going to end well. I knew in my heart that my daughter was in a car accident overturned in a ditch(it was a creek bed)---I couldn't shake that feeling as the hours passed. Finally around 6:15 am we saw trucks racing past my house, then ambulances and search and rescue trucks....they had found our children. I went to the accident scene around 7am but nothing was happening....so it seemed to me. But the impact of the vehicle made it so difficult to get to the kids and they couldn't get lift the vehicle out with the equipment they had. I went back home since it was only just minutes from my house. My 13 yr old and my 2 yr old were awake....my 11 yr old was still asleep. I finally got the call at 8am that I needed to come down to see Jorden. My husband and I got to see her in the ambulance. She died of head trauma(she also had a broken jaw). It was the worst moment of my life.....she is my oldest. She was at such a fun age where we had fun shopping together and listening to music loud in our vehicle. She was so proud that she just outgrew her mom....my beautiful Jorden, she was becoming one of my very best friends. I am so proud of the daughter I raised. She was friends with everyone. She loved ballet-it was her passion. She was an amazing big sister to her youngest baby brother (2 yrs old) and took such good care of him. I am thankful for all the pictures she has taken of the two of them so that he knows how much his big sister loves him. That night before she left our home, we had some good laughs on her laptop in her photo booth taking funny pictures. We had tears streaming down our cheeks. It was 'our' time together--little did I know how our lives would change. She asked her dad if she could go hang with Danae---of course she could, we love Danae and the girls were such good friends. Jorden gave her dad the most beautiful hug that I have ever seen....I didn't know she had asked him to go out. She told him she loved him and then she left. I know that this was meant to be for if she had asked me to go out, I would have said no, she had been gone most of the day already and it was just after 9pm when she left. It was a single car accident on a gravel road. We figure that deer must have jumped out and the driver tried not to hit them, something all of us would have done. He went to the left and then to the right and hit the beginning of the guard rail at a little bridge which then made the vehicle flip over and crash into the creek bed. No one is to blame....the Lord called these great teens home to be with him. Their time on earth was complete. I know it leaves us with broken hearts.....and an empty home. Our lives are forever changed and I wonder how I am supposed to go on each day when I want her here with me. But I know that I will see her one day. I firmly believe that....I believe that families are forever. My Jorden is with her Grandpa who passed away on Dec 21/2010 suddenly. It was so tragic when my dad had a work related accident on my 40th birthday and then passed away the next day on my brother's birthday. We had just gone to Disneyland with my parent's in September 2010 and had such a fun family vacation. I am most thankful for all those memories....we had such a blast and Jorden loved that trip. It gives me peace knowing that she is with my dad.....she loved him so much. She recently wrote a descriptive paragraph about my dad that I found in her homework...I had no idea she did that. It has touched my heart and soul.

I am so blessed to have had Jorden for these past 14 years. She has made a difference in my life--I know there will be days where I will feel like I can't go on without her, I feel like that everyday but I have to go on. We are grieving.....its so painful and there is no stopping the tears...but we have 3 other children who need me, who need their father. It will take time for our hearts to heal somewhat, I don't think my heart will ever completely heal....but I have all the beautiful memories and pictures to reflect on.....she will live on in our hearts and in our home always until we get to see her again.

Thank you for reading....

Tammy

[Susie_q512]

Tammy - Your Jordan is absolutely beautiful. I am so very sorry that you and your family are now on this journey. I also lost my daughter in a car accident recently...not quite 8 weeks ago. (If you choose, you can read about her: Death of my 16 yr old Daughter Shannon.) There will be many emotions experienced as you make this journey; Some will take you by surprise. Most parents post in the Loss of Adult Child Forum. The age of our Angels does not matter there. You will be welcomed and received. There are many others there who have been on this journey for far longer than the two of us. Their wisdom and insight have helped me so very much as I stumble my way through this terrible grief. You too will find encouragement there. I am so thankful that I found my way to this site. Please post there and tell us about your beautiful daughter.

Susan - Shannon's Mom

[Tweetymm125@aol.com]

Four weeks ago, my 14 year old daughter, Jorden, was killed in a car accident. It happened on October 15/2011. She was with her friend, Danae, also 14 and two older boys that were 16. They all died in the tragic accident that has devastated our small town. It has devastated our lives beyond measure. Never did I think this could happen to our family. Life is just so precious. When we couldn't reach our teenagers that night, we knew something was very wrong. All of their cell phones went to being out of the service range which seemed so odd. My husband started looking for them at midnight when they didn't make their 11:30 curfew. The girls were supposed to be together at Danae's house but obviously their plans changed and they didn't tell us. They went for a drive with the boys---and I'm positive the boys were bringing the girls home when the accident happened. We had family and friends out looking for our missing children---so many were helping us. I was at home with my younger children and I just had the worst gut feeling that this wasn't going to end well. I knew in my heart that my daughter was in a car accident overturned in a ditch(it was a creek bed)---I couldn't shake that feeling as the hours passed. Finally around 6:15 am we saw trucks racing past my house, then ambulances and search and rescue trucks....they had found our children. I went to the accident scene around 7am but nothing was happening....so it seemed to me. But the impact of the vehicle made it so difficult to get to the kids and they couldn't get lift the vehicle out with the equipment they had. I went back home since it was only just minutes from my house. My 13 yr old and my 2 yr old were awake....my 11 yr old was still asleep. I finally got the call at 8am that I needed to come down to see Jorden. My husband and I got to see her in the ambulance. She died of head trauma(she also had a broken jaw). It was the worst moment of my life.....she is my oldest. She was at such a fun age where we had fun shopping together and listening to music loud in our vehicle. She was so proud that she just outgrew her mom....my beautiful Jorden, she was becoming one of my very best friends. I am so proud of the daughter I raised. She was friends with everyone. She loved ballet-it was her passion. She was an amazing big sister to her youngest baby brother (2 yrs old) and took such good care of him. I am thankful for all the pictures she has taken of the two of them so that he knows how much his big sister loves him. That night before she left our home, we had some good laughs on her laptop in her photo booth taking funny pictures. We had tears streaming down our cheeks. It was 'our' time together--little did I know how our lives would change. She asked her dad if she could go hang with Danae---of course she could, we love Danae and the girls were such good friends. Jorden gave her dad the most beautiful hug that I have ever seen....I didn't know she had asked him to go out. She told him she loved him and then she left. I know that this was meant to be for if she had asked me to go out, I would have said no, she had been gone most of the day already and it was just after 9pm when she left. It was a single car accident on a gravel road. We figure that deer must have jumped out and the driver tried not to hit them, something all of us would have done. He went to the left and then to the right and hit the beginning of the guard rail at a little bridge which then made the vehicle flip over and crash into the creek bed. No one is to blame....the Lord called these great teens home to be with him. Their time on earth was complete. I know it leaves us with broken hearts.....and an empty home. Our lives are forever changed and I wonder how I am supposed to go on each day when I want her here with me. But I know that I will see her one day. I firmly believe that....I believe that families are forever. My Jorden is with her Grandpa who passed away on Dec 21/2010 suddenly. It was so tragic when my dad had a work related accident on my 40th birthday and then passed away the next day on my brother's birthday. We had just gone to Disneyland with my parent's in September 2010 and had such a fun family vacation. I am most thankful for all those memories....we had such a blast and Jorden loved that trip. It gives me peace knowing that she is with my dad.....she loved him so much. She recently wrote a descriptive paragraph about my dad that I found in her homework...I had no idea she did that. It has touched my heart and soul.

I am so blessed to have had Jorden for these past 14 years. She has made a difference in my life--I know there will be days where I will feel like I can't go on without her, I feel like that everyday but I have to go on. We are grieving.....its so painful and there is no stopping the tears...but we have 3 other children who need me, who need their father. It will take time for our hearts to heal somewhat, I don't think my heart will ever completely heal....but I have all the beautiful memories and pictures to reflect on.....she will live on in our hearts and in our home always until we get to see her again.

Thank you for reading....

Tammy

[designer2]

Dear Tammy, the accident that took your sweet Jorden was such a senseless tragedy. I know the heaviness of your heart, and of all the hearts who loved her. I lost my son Dylan in March quite unexpected and suddenly too. It is the suddeness of losing our precious loved ones that makes our lives so unbearable, particularly in the early months. Although my grief is still fresh, I will tell you that I have come a long way. It is because I reached out to God and as many loving hands that I could. I know that this is a devastating loss; losing Dylan was too, he was my only child. You will never completely heal, but you will transform, and the transformation is gradual yet profound because you will become many things. You will be stronger than you ever imagined, you will be wise, you will truly know compassion, and words will become your ally against the darkness. You will gain a new knowledge of truth in your life about what is really important and what is not. Above all you will really understand how very precious each and every second of life is. What I am saying to you here is this...there is always hope, as long as you strive to connect with life. Ask God for help, embrace your family, get support, cry as much as you need to, hang on to the precious memories, try not to think of the bad, and remember to be kind to yourself: your daughter wants you to be better. Take each day, one breath, one step at a time.

Cindy

[Guest msnher]

Tammy, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter, Jordan. You are so early on this journey that none of us would have ever chosen. As Susan already said, the thread "Loss of an adult child" seems to be more active. Please come there and introduce yourself. You will be greeted with love, warmth and acceptance. My 28 year old daughter, Stephanie, died in an ATV accident on 8-9-09. She left behind three young children whom my husband and I are raising. Please come to the loss of an adult child thread and tell us more about your Jordan. If you are willing we would love to get to know her and you!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom