Losing mother and coping with grief/depression

[NurtureL]

I lost my  mother unexpectedly  3 years ago on July 2, 2019. My mother was an only child and so am I. My dad was not present in my life. I have been having a hard time coping with her death. I have no family and it’s hard dealing with her death and no family to lean on. Can anyone give me suggestions on how to deal please?

[reader]

Dear NurtureL,

Deeply sorry for your loss. It is incredibly hard to go through grief and we all need support. For myself, even my family and friends and colleagues were not that supportive. I tried grief counselling, grief support groups, Meet Up groups in my area  and joining different online support groups.  Please know we are here to listen.

I also found these websites offered a lot of compassion.

What's Your Grief

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

Grief Share

Grief Recovery Method

[TaraB]

I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine! I really do feel for you as well because I am an only child too with little family around. I lost my dad in 2020. My mom is present but I could not share much with her and feel quite isolated emotionally.  i also work remotely for now so don't see coworkers really.  I have felt very alone too. I want to thank you for sharing your story because I recently got hit with depression like I never felt before, really feeling like an orphan, and was pretty mad that it was happening past the first year mark when I thought things should be getting better. It helps to know I'm not alone there but I am so sorry you are struggling too. Everyone is so unique with their situations and relationships with lost loved ones, but to share what I've been trying lately here's a few things that have been slightly helpful (even 5% helpful has been an improvement as of late):

-looking into volunteering. I don't want to interact with many people so have been looking into my local animal shelter because I love the little furry critters. Just as a way to not feel so alone and stuck, try to do something that I know will feel meaningful. I'm hoping it may lead to more connections with people

-Again, I'm an animal person so not sure if this will appeal to you but I got a new dog. My old dog of 11 years died 6 months after my dad died. It was hard but getting another living creature to take care of and have for company has helped me on harder days to feel some companionship. She also is motivation to get out for walks, which helps me and sometimes leads to small interactions with other people so I don't feel so isolated.

-I'm a new member of this support forum but already find it helpful to be able to be honest and understood in the true struggles of grief.

-Trying to remind myself that my life is mine to live, and even if others were around me more they could not do it for me. It sometimes works, sometimes doesn't, but when it does help it is normalizing feeling alone and helping me to remember I have choices in what I want to do in my life.

-Brainstorming ways to meet new people and create opportunities for more connections. This is early work in progress so if anyone has other ideas on this I would love to hear them.

I really am rooting for you because grief is never easy and leads most people to feel alone, and when throwing being an only child on top of it, I don't think everyone understands the severity of what it means when you lose a parent you are close with. Take care!