Lost both parents 1 year apart… I’m 56, but feel like a lost child

[Sandra Valles]

So I lost my Dad Jan of last year due to COVID complications and he cared for my mother who had Alzheimer’s so my world turned upside down. My parents loved each other so much and were married 54 years. My Dad was a big burly man super strong and fit and both my parents caught COVID my mother who was very frail and suffered with Alzheimer’s recovered but my Dad didn’t. I was prepared to loosing my Mom but never my Dad I’ve been in a depression for the past year. When my Dad was dying I promised him I would care for my Mom and I did until she passed last month. I feel so guilty that I am not grieving the same for both of them. I was much closer to my Dad and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m the first born daughter. Just trying to take it day by day and trying to be strong for my younger siblings. 

[reader]

Dear Sandra,

I am very sorry for your loss. Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. I'm also the oldest in my sibling group and I felt the same way when I lost my dad. For myself, I cried an ocean of tears for my dad the first year. It wasn't till around the second year that the pain was less intense. To this day almost 6 years later, I find it hard to accept.

You're doing the right thing. It's all we can do but take it day by day. Please know we are with you.