Single woman, 35, Mum died nearly 9 months ago

[Rekj]

Hoping there is someone else out there of a similar age or single and without a Mum.

I feel so utterly alone. Sometimes I can’t breathe. I just want her. I feel like my heart is in the earth with hers and I don’t really see any sort of light or fire or fireworks in my future.

Anyone else in this echo chamber?

[MomsLovingSon]

4 hours ago, Rekj said:

Hoping there is someone else out there of a similar age or single and without a Mum.

I feel so utterly alone. Sometimes I can’t breathe. I just want her. I feel like my heart is in the earth with hers and I don’t really see any sort of light or fire or fireworks in my future.

Anyone else in this echo chamber?

I think a lot of us can relate. I'll be 30 later this year and I lost my mom in April. She was all I had and I really didn't/don't have a life outside of her. It's soul crushing. All that I want during every moment of the day is to be with her again, talk to her, hear her voice, feel her hug me, everything I'm sure you relate to.

 

Feel free to reach out to people, even me if you'd like.

[Rekj]

Yep she was my mum,  my best friend, my guide, my safety net. Feel so alone. It’s been 5 minutes for you. Are you sleeping? I’m on pills and still struggle

[MomsLovingSon]

11 minutes ago, Rekj said:

Yep she was my mum,  my best friend, my guide, my safety net. Feel so alone. It’s been 5 minutes for you. Are you sleeping? I’m on pills and still struggle

I know what you mean, my mom was everything to me too. She did so much for me, maybe too much to be honest, but she always made feel safe and taken care of. I'm sleeping a little worse than normal, but I never slept too well to begin with. Right now I have family at our house (I guess just "my" house now) who I desperately do not want around, and I know my mom wouldn't either. I don't get alone time or peace and quiet so I could certainly use some more sleep if for no other reason than to have some peace.

[reader]

Dear Rekj,

I am sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies and condolences. 

Losing my dad made me feel raw. It's the worst pain I've experienced in my life. My counsellor told me it takes about 18 months on average for the pain to lessen.

Please know we are here with you.

[Lilylali]

Hello, 

I am sorry for your loss. I am 36 and lost my mother in May. It was always just the two of us. I am finding it extremely hard to cope, but am trying my best. Hoping it gets easier. 

[Rekj]

23 hours ago, MomsLovingSon said:

I know what you mean, my mom was everything to me too. She did so much for me, maybe too much to be honest, but she always made feel safe and taken care of. I'm sleeping a little worse than normal, but I never slept too well to begin with. Right now I have family at our house (I guess just "my" house now) who I desperately do not want around, and I know my mom wouldn't either. I don't get alone time or peace and quiet so I could certainly use some more sleep if for no other reason than to have some peace.

I know all about that; couldn’t get rid of my auntie for ages. She meant well but it was about her own grief. People come to you because you’re the next best thing. Who do we go to?

[MomsLovingSon]

27 minutes ago, Rekj said:

I know all about that; couldn’t get rid of my auntie for ages. She meant well but it was about her own grief. People come to you because you’re the next best thing. Who do we go to?

Well in my case my aunt and grandmother don't listen to my wishes. I didn't want them here, I didn't want them doing things. An outsider (not that I'd blame them) might explain it away as them doing it out of their grief, but if my mom was here she'd agree and say that in this case they need to control things.

 

In terms of who we go to? It's hard to know. I'm an only child, no real close family. I also haven't really had close friends in MANY years. I have one who I keep up with a little on social media and we've talked (today even). She's as sweet as you could hope for but it's not like she's here - and she's not my mom: my rock and best friend in the world.

[Rekj]

On 6/27/2022 at 11:05 PM, MomsLovingSon said:

Well in my case my aunt and grandmother don't listen to my wishes. I didn't want them here, I didn't want them doing things. An outsider (not that I'd blame them) might explain it away as them doing it out of their grief, but if my mom was here she'd agree and say that in this case they need to control things.

 

In terms of who we go to? It's hard to know. I'm an only child, no real close family. I also haven't really had close friends in MANY years. I have one who I keep up with a little on social media and we've talked (today even). She's as sweet as you could hope for but it's not like she's here - and she's not my mom: my rock and best friend in the world.

How awful for you. A new level of lonely. I wish time would move faster 

On 6/27/2022 at 5:30 AM, Lilylali said:

Hello, 

I am sorry for your loss. I am 36 and lost my mother in May. It was always just the two of us. I am finding it extremely hard to cope, but am trying my best. Hoping it gets easier. 

Hoping that too

[KeyLimePie1]

Hello there,

First off I wanted to say sorry for your loss. I'm 31 years old and my mum passed away over a year ago. 

I live alone now with our pet cat and I only have a small family who live a few miles away and I don't drive a car. I don't have a huge support network around me apart from 1 or 2 good friends but I've had to battle through this in a solitary position.

I've managed to get back to work and that has helped give me a focus, but coming home to the same house I shared with mom every day has been very tough. Lots of memories as you can imagine.

I just wanted to say you are definitely not alone, and you are always welcome to drop me a message if you want to chat.

[Rekj]

20 hours ago, GribbleMC1 said:

Hello there,

First off I wanted to say sorry for your loss. I'm 31 years old and my mum passed away over a year ago. 

I live alone now with our pet cat and I only have a small family who live a few miles away and I don't drive a car. I don't have a huge support network around me apart from 1 or 2 good friends but I've had to battle through this in a solitary position.

I've managed to get back to work and that has helped give me a focus, but coming home to the same house I shared with mom every day has been very tough. Lots of memories as you can imagine.

I just wanted to say you are definitely not alone, and you are always welcome to drop me a message if you want to chat.

Solitary is the word. I’m in her house too. My Dad is here but we have a very strained relationship and he’s just drinking. We had cats; might take this as a sign (excuse) to adopt one again…

thank you for your response; some days are just unbearable. There’s only so many time you can cry on your own.

[peachglitter]

Hi, I'm not in my thirties, but when I read all of the posts in here, I deeply related to them. First of all, to everyone here, I am so very sorry for the pain you are going through. It's a heartache that can't be explained with words. It's a numbness so deep in the soul that words can't soothe the loss.

I'm 20 years old, so maybe things are different but I lost my mom in January. After that, I truly found out who really cared for me ... and that was my mom, only my mom. It's solely up to me to take care of things financially as the only person I have is my brother, who is sick with cancer. We both live in the house we lived in with our mom. I've been wanting to move every since her passing. It's too big for me to care for alone. But, financially, it might be more difficult than I would anticipate. I'd like to move somewhere much smaller, away from the memories that still live in this place. Besides that, I'm lost and depressed, in general. I go to work everyday to support my brother and pay the bills, but inside, I'm empty. I'm scared of the future. I don't have anyone besides my brother because everyone abandoned me while I was grieving. I can't be strong and I can't get "over" what happened to my mom like everyone expects.

[Rekj]

28 minutes ago, peachglitter said:

Hi, I'm not in my thirties, but when I read all of the posts in here, I deeply related to them. First of all, to everyone here, I am so very sorry for the pain you are going through. It's a heartache that can't be explained with words. It's a numbness so deep in the soul that words can't soothe the loss.

I'm 20 years old, so maybe things are different but I lost my mom in January. After that, I truly found out who really cared for me ... and that was my mom, only my mom. It's solely up to me to take care of things financially as the only person I have is my brother, who is sick with cancer. We both live in the house we lived in with our mom. I've been wanting to move every since her passing. It's too big for me to care for alone. But, financially, it might be more difficult than I would anticipate. I'd like to move somewhere much smaller, away from the memories that still live in this place. Besides that, I'm lost and depressed, in general. I go to work everyday to support my brother and pay the bills, but inside, I'm empty. I'm scared of the future. I don't have anyone besides my brother because everyone abandoned me while I was grieving. I can't be strong and I can't get "over" what happened to my mom like everyone expects.

WOW. You poor and brave soul. Do what you can to feel as safe and strong as possible. Look after yourself as much as you can. Caring is not easy. None of this is.
We should all make a giant Mum for hugs and tissues!