I don’t know how to continue after loss of father

[Jasmin309]

I lost my dad 2 weeks ago. It was a shock for everyone since it was all of a sudden. I remember I came home from the gym and saw my brother on the floor crying. The next day we took the flight to moms and the day I saw dad lying there it was the hardest. I just don’t understand why ! I know he’s gone but I just don’t know why and how everything will continue. How can life just move on without him. I don’t even feel like doing something anymore. For one second I forget it and distract myself the next second you get reminded again. I can’t talk to someone because I need to process it myself first. My closest friends haven’t come visit me yet which I find weird. Nor have they called me. I feel bad for doing something that will distract me for a while. I know it will be the best for me to go away and travel alone since I can cope with everything the best that way. But that will make me feel bad for going away. I miss him so much and I just don’t know how it will continue. How can life just go on. I needed him and he could easily live so many more years. He was young and healthy. Don’t know how this could happen. Can anyone tell me how to not feel bad for doing something ? And will I ever be ok again? 

[Kevin8988]

My mom passed away 3 weeks ago after battling and suffering from illness for 8+ years.  We lived together during all these years.  Now I am lonely and depressed.  But I believe time will heal.  There is no rush to do anything now, just grieve at your (or mine) own pace.  I am traveling alone this week, but even when I am doing this I am still in grief.  But I tell myself at least I am doing something, and my mom would want me to continue my life in a happy way. 

[reader]

Dear Jasmin,

I am sorry for your loss. Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. I'm sorry your friends have not reached out. Sometimes people don't know what to say or do.  Please know no matter how you are feeling it is normal and natural. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve.  Do what you need to and know that it's all right.

I remember feeling very raw when my dad passed. My counsellor said it took on average 18 months for the pain to lessen. It could be longer or shorter and that's okay too.

My thoughts are with you.