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MiddledaughterDee

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MiddledaughterDee

This is my first time writing anything. Not even sure I’m in the right category or place but here goes. In a nutshell

Married one year and had a late miscarriage in my second year. Lost the baby it was a boy I was very sick. I got better

-Florida Hard working mom of 2, working and raising them with out physical or $ help (alcoholic x husband) 1990 it began divorced in 1994

-cargiver to mom 2009 who died of metastasized lung cancer (7 months)

-Started over in 2010 in Tennessee helping my daughter with her new baby! 1 year later she was killed in car accident. I’m raising baby. I continue to have a career at Vanderbilt and had a wonderful home with my new husband, grandson and son. For many years! 

2019 noticed changes in dad.  Took FMLA and started helping dad, his wife has late stages Alzheimer’s. Continued traveling back and forth to care for him. Calls became 30 a day.

we quit jobs, gave my pet horse to the community college for the vet and agricultural students  to learn with. He died in a horrible snowstorm and colic -Ed 1 month after he moved with them. 

Gave my dog to my landlord and left our beautiful farm 

Tool care of dad from Jan 2021 to now. He was bed ridden with 2 broken hips and vascular dementia. I also think he had  Lewy body but never know. I was full time everything, my hubby helped when he wasn’t working. 

he died with me and my sister by his side. 
we did everything he wanted. 
 

im physically sick from being bitten by ticks….. finally done with the steroids but still on antibiotics. Will test for Lyme etc in several weeks. 

The tears won’t stop. My dad is so much better off, I should be happy for him. I didn’t cry this much when my own daughter died. I’m so messed up.my husband says I have PTSD

and which forum am I in! I’m heading back to the urgent care for antidepressants. Reached out to grief counselor but they haven’t called back. 
super beginner here, help?

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Dear Dee, 

I am sorry for everything you have been through. It's a lot for one person and it all takes an emotional too. Please know there are lots of resources in the community and through church. I also found these online resources helpful.

Grief in Common

Grief Share

Grief Healing Blog

What's Your Grief

Tiny Buddha

Thinking of you. x 

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You've had so many losses.  My sympathies to you.

 

I saw a "Loss of Parent" section here within this website.  And also, "Loss of Child" and "Miscarriage, Stillborn and Infant Loss".

 

in my life, I believe losses on top of losses can compound.  I believe loss can cause PTSD.

 

i know if's been a while since you posted.  I hope you are feeling better.

 

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