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Missing my baby Gretel


LittleBeans83

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gretelskeeper143

2days ago, I lost a best friend. She was a tiny little baby, weighing just 2 pounds and 6ounces. Aging in 5months. She had silky black and brown hair, the most adorable eyes,and a face to make you smile in seconds. Her name is Gretel. I first met Gretel, the second week of July. The breeder who I got her from had 5puppies of her kind, all yorkshire terriers. I instantly fell in love with Gretel and from the moment we met, I knew then she was my doggy soul mate. I waited anxiously for 2 weeks to bring her home, i spent all my money to buy her the best of toys,food,bed,etc. Bringing her home was one of the happiest days of my life. I instantly bonded with her and loved her more and more every minute that passed. When of the reasons I had gotten Gretel was to bring a friend into my life during a time where I felt very lonely. She brought happiness into my life and brought a friendship that I'll remember for the rest of my life. I only had her for a short 4months but in those months she became my best friend. I would always look forward to going home knowing that I had someone who was anxiously waiting for my arrival. Coming home as soon as I would open the door she'd be shaking from excitement for me to bring her out of her play pen and bring her into my arms. She would greet me with a thousand kisses and ran after me wherever I went. Gretel was more than just my dog, she was the friend my heart had been aching for. She was loyal and true,genuine and sweet. Playful and caring. She was everything that fit the category of a perfect dog. She never misbehaved and listened to my every command. In my eyes Gretel was the perfect canine companion. Sometimes I even forgot that she was an animal, for she listened and loved me and was as loyal as a human friend. Everything was perfect in my eyes. Over the past month I started noticing Gretel was rather small for her age. She hadnt gained any weight since the second month i had gotten her. She had gotten sick a couple of weeks before she passed. The night she was taken from me it all happened so fast... I came home from a long day of work, like usual I took her out but only this night it was totally different. She was shaking,drooling and running all over the place... Gretel was having a seizure. I immediately rushed to emergency hospital with my mom. During the car ride there, Gretel was uncontrollable. I cried and begged her to stop, but she couldn't. As soon as we got there the vets took her in. I anxiously waited a half hour anticipating what would happen next. The vet took my mom and I into a room. She began to explain to us that Gretel had Liver Shunt. She was going to need surgeries and treatment and had told us that the quality of her life would be poor, basically telling us the worst.. Gretel was going to suffer her whole life. The playful loving perfect puppy I had grown to know was now a very sick little girl. The Vet explained to us that we could go on to go through the surgeries and treatment but also explained the outcomes. She then gave us the option putting Gretel to sleep. My whole world fell apart as soon as I heard that. The tears immediately came running down my cheeks and I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces. I knew that I could put my little two pound dog through surgeries and treatment for the sake of keeping her, but deep down I knew that she would no longer be that little playful dog she was. She would grow to be a miserable sick dog. The final decision was made.. Gretel was put to sleep that night. I had never experienced worst pain my whole entire life. The vet brought us in to spend what would be our last moments with Gretel. When we saw her, she was already lifeless. She had been put on tranquilizers to calm her from her segers. Gretel was laying down and I could feel her pain instantly. I hysterically cried as I petted her head and her floppy right ear. (Gretel had one ear that was stood up while the other one was floppy. She hadn't fully grown into her right ear yet) I looked her right in her eyes and kept crying. I couldn't bear it to leave her and I couldn't bear the pain I felt. I said my last goodbye to her and walked away before they Enhaniased her. That night I went home I stayed up in my bed all night thinking of all the memories I had with her and how much pain i felt no longer having her. It's only been 4days, but the pain gets worse every day. I miss her when I come home to a house without her presence, and miss her when I wake up walking past her spot. I know in my heart that I made the right decision and freed her from her misery, but I cannot stand the pain of not having her. She was my best friend. She brought sunshine on my gloomy days, she brought comfort to me on my lonely days and she brought loyalty that no one else had ever given me. No matter where I end up in life or wherever I go, her spirit lives on in my heart. Her presence may be gone from this Earth, but I still feel her in every which way. I pray for the days that this pain will go away or at least subside, but I know I'll always miss her. R.I.P Gretel,your always in my heart baby<3

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LittleBeans83

This is heartbreaking. I can not imagine the pain that you are going through. Our pets are an extension of ourselves. They are our best friends, our children and our playmates. To lose them in such a sudden way is devastating. Take small comfort in knowing that you were strong enough to not allow Gretel to suffer. Quality of life is important, whether you are human or animal. Most people are selfish and want to keep their animals around so that they don't miss them. The animal is the one that ultimately pays.

I pray that the grief does get easier for you. We lost our boy Chase in 2009 and it took a full year and a half to even consider another dog. We ended up getting a Wolamute which was so different from the Lab that Chase was. The thought behind it was that we didn't want to have any comparisons between the two, "Chase would never have done that....." etc. It really was the best way for us, and Tillie could not be more different. We love her and wouldn't replace her.

I remember my Dad out digging a grave for Chase in our back yard, crying hysterically with every shovel of dirt that he tossed. Chase was his best friend, and still to this day, he misses Chase terribly. I guess what I'm telling you is that everyone deals with grief of a pet differently and along different timelines. Don't let anyone tell you what the "appropriate" amount of time to grieve is. Only you can know.

Keep posting if you need someone to listen, this is a great place, and the people here are really supportive.

Take care friend.

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