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Not dead, just gone


Stephyrae

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I know people discount my grief because it's not 'severe enough'. But it hurts anyway, no ones opinion can stop that. I didn't lose my sister to death, but it still hurts.

My twin sister and I were always very close, best friends for most of out lives. We started going our separate ways when we were like 15 because her boyfriend hated me. But we were still friends, after all, we shared a room. After about a year, she announced that she was pregnant and moving out. She was married a week later. I was hurting the whole time, but I kept telling myself that things would get better. After the wedding she refused calls from my family and wouldn't let us see her. She was married in March, it's now November and I've seen her three time and talked to her only a brief handful of times. Her baby was born two weeks ago, I haven't met him. She told me that she doesn't love me and doesn't want me around her son. I found out about his birth three days after he was born. The only picture I have of him is in a hospital incubator.

It really hurts to have people ask me about my sister and her baby, I know they don't know any better, but it still hurts. I haven't fully told anyone how I feel, truth is, I'm not sure I know. I feel like I'm hanging and being repeatedly stabbed. I just wish there was someone out there who understood, everyone I've talked to seems to think I should just shrug it off and move on, but its hard to walk when you can't feel the ground...

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OK...I've lost a twin brother to sudden death a few months ago.. so I do know the pain of being separated from a twin no matter what. We were just getting reconnected when something tragic happened. It's the worse pain imaginable because you're lost someone you've been linked to. So I do know that you have pain. Don't know how you reconnect, but you have to start a long, patient process somehow to do so.

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I know people discount my grief because it's not 'severe enough'. But it hurts anyway, no ones opinion can stop that. I didn't lose my sister to death, but it still hurts.

My twin sister and I were always very close, best friends for most of out lives. We started going our separate ways when we were like 15 because her boyfriend hated me. But we were still friends, after all, we shared a room. After about a year, she announced that she was pregnant and moving out. She was married a week later. I was hurting the whole time, but I kept telling myself that things would get better. After the wedding she refused calls from my family and wouldn't let us see her. She was married in March, it's now November and I've seen her three time and talked to her only a brief handful of times. Her baby was born two weeks ago, I haven't met him. She told me that she doesn't love me and doesn't want me around her son. I found out about his birth three days after he was born. The only picture I have of him is in a hospital incubator.

It really hurts to have people ask me about my sister and her baby, I know they don't know any better, but it still hurts. I haven't fully told anyone how I feel, truth is, I'm not sure I know. I feel like I'm hanging and being repeatedly stabbed. I just wish there was someone out there who understood, everyone I've talked to seems to think I should just shrug it off and move on, but its hard to walk when you can't feel the ground...

I am sorry for your loss... Grief can come from many places.. Grief comes from a loss of someone you care about.. You have lost the closeness you once shared with your sister. That is huge... I will not tell you to shrug it off, the only way to grieve is to go through it as painful as it may be... you can not avoid it, go around it, ignore it... it has to be dealt with..

I don't know the answers on how.. I hope some day you can be reunited...

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