Physically Grieving - I lost my female dog

[CharliesM0m2012]

I am not coping very well after my Patterjack girlie went over the rainbow bridge on Sat Apr 30 2022 at 15:30pm.  Charlie was suffering spleen and liver cancers that were making her not eat and not show interest in walks or socialising so she slept an awful lot.  I noticed a change late 2021 / early 2022 and she became really sick this past week quite quickly.  Eventually took Charlie to the vets where we got the bad news :-(.  She was peacefully given sleep that afternoon after the scans that revealed her serious illness.  Pursuing any type of treatment would’ve made her illness worse and only bought her an extra 3-4 weeks / month which would’ve been horrible for her.

I am in bits, she used to sleep with me.  I am physically feeling the loss as well as emotionally.  I cry at night + shake a lot.  I ease the shaking with a glass of wine. 

[Gary55]

I'm really sorry to read of your loss of Charlie. Nothing prepares us for this moment. My boy Goldie passed 12 Dec 2020. I knew he wasn't his old self but it was sudden. I wanted to go with him. I got another companion after 15 months, she's different and I know she'll never be Goldie but it does help. My life changed completely that day in Dec. I still cry often, but I know he's around. I've had many signs from him, I've had dream visitations, heard a bark, and caught his scent. They are just in a different form now. Thinking of you at this time. 

[CharliesM0m2012]

Thank you + it is the hardest thing.  I didn’t cry this much when I lost my 84yr old granddad or my uncle.  It’s deeper than losing relatives in a way.  A few nights before Charlie passed I had some sort of a dream apparition, a visitation from a previously deceased dog (Jericho - d. 20/04/2016) I don’t know why I didn’t clock the warning of what was about to happen.  😞 

Why you Charlie, why 😭

[Gary55]

It's the hardest thing I've had to deal with. I've lost people and pets, but nothing comes close to Goldie. I'd think Jericho is most likely with Charlie now. There is so much we don't know about what happens when we cross over. 

[CharliesM0m2012]

21 minutes ago, CharliesM0m2012 said:

Thank you + it is the hardest thing.  I didn’t cry this much when I lost my 84yr old granddad or my uncle.  It’s deeper than losing relatives in a way.  A few nights before Charlie passed I had some sort of a dream apparition, a visitation from a previously deceased dog (Jericho - d. 20/04/2016) I don’t know why I didn’t clock the warning of what was about to happen.  😞 

Why you Charlie, why 😭

@Gary55 so sorry about Goldie, you must miss your Goldie every day.  Jericho passed suddenly age 13.  He was peacefully put to sleep at home.  It had just been the 6th anniversary of his passing.   I was sad as it was but thought I was coping OK then Charlie went down hill really fast + passed 30 Apr 2022 - 6 years 10 days after losing Jericho .   I’d like to think little Charlie’s snuggling into Jericho’s dense fur now + they are having a good time over the rainbow 🌈 

[AJWCat]

I am so so sorry to read about sweet Charlie. So often it happens very fast. But, really, there is never enough time. Just one more hour, one more minute with them.

The heartache you "think" you will go through... is unimaginable until they are really gone. Hang in there. Your heart will heal it just takes a while.  

[CharliesM0m2012]

1 hour ago, AJWCat said:

I am so so sorry to read about sweet Charlie. So often it happens very fast. But, really, there is never enough time. Just one more hour, one more minute with them.

The heartache you "think" you will go through... is unimaginable until they are really gone. Hang in there. Your heart will heal it just takes a while.  

Charlie had lost quite a lot of weight as she went off her food - she usually loved her food.  At first I put the change in her down to the noise being made by workmen (our house is being renovated) However, as time wore on, she slept a lot more, slowed down walking and she just didn’t want to get up or move towards the last week.  I went to Cheshire for 3 days for a relatives wedding anniversary ~ the first thing my dad said to me when I got out the cab when I got back was “she’s eaten nothing and just slept.”  Friday we phoned and went to the vet - blood sample from her jugular vein and an anti emetic.  She had more through tests and a scan the next day that showed up the cancers. 😢 💔

I just know we couldn’t have put off going to the animal hospital any day or week longer she would’ve died at home, which would’ve been worse as her brother, 6, is still alive. 

[KayC]

II am so sorry, I know how painful this is, nothing like it, it felt just like losing my sweet husband had.  It doesn't affect our income, etc. but it hits just just as hard emotionally.  Why?  Because they are very much a part of our lives, they're in our lives day in/day out, our routines, interactions all entwined with them.  They love us unconditionally, more than people even!  They are loyal, loving, devoted to us, they make us their study.  They want so much to please us!  They are our companions, day in, day out, for YEARS!  To suddenly lose them...it's beyond hard to adjust to.  They come with their own unique personalities, in my Arlie's case, his gentleness and goofiness were above and beyond...

My Arlie also had cancer, liver shutting down, inoperable, I wish I'd known back then of the keto diet for dogs, perhaps it would have made a difference, but we don't know what we don't know.  His cancer and subsequent death sent my blood sugar into the 200s, even maxed out on Rxs, it continued staying up five months past his death...that's what forced my hand to do something drastic and I started on Keto...for life, it changed everything inside of me for the better.  So in a roundabout way, I feel Arlie's parting gift was my health.

I had my Arlie put to sleep before he reached the point of not being able to walk, as it was, he'd slowed down tremendously and I didn't want to make him suffer for MY benefit.  I applaud you for making the same decision.   Even though it hurts us to the core.