Missing the “unconditional” part of love

[jaimeleigh]

For the first few days after my Mom died, everyone REALLY cared. Flowers, cards, gentle “what can I do for you”’s. Brownies. Lots of brownies showed up on my doorstep, lol. 
 

6 months later & nobody asks. If I bring it up to people close to me, they kind of just want to change the subject as soon as possible. It’s almost like if someone asks what’s wrong and I say “I miss my Mom”, they just sigh a breath of relief that it’s not something they can or have to help me with, and it’s safe to say “Aw” and change the subject. 

I’m not saying I want pity, but at the same time, pity sounds a lot damn better than silence and disinterest. 
 

Who is there to talk to when the only person who loved me unconditionally is gone? How can I make conditional love work for me if I know it isn’t enough after the love she gave? What do I do if the people who love me don’t even have a drop of the amount of love in their hearts for me as my Mom did?

Not a good night for me.  sending you all love 

[Mikek]

I lost my mom and her love and support can never be replaced.  No one will ever love me as much as her and it is gone. That hurts.  Really bad. 
 

im struggling with it now. Everything seems so sad and depressing. There is no light in the world but sad boredom. 
 

I may move forward with my life but I will never be the same. There’s nothing that can replace it. A mothers love is special.
 

Best I can do is cherish the memories I have and create new ones with my baby. It is what she wanted. 

[reader]

Dear jaimeleigh,

I hear you and I know many people that feel the same way. I know I did. It's really hard when you are grieving the most important person in your life and others have moved on. Even my own sisters were quite cold about it and didn't want to hear my feelings. I don't think people know what to say or what to do after the first few months. I wish people could be more thoughtful and sensitive. I know I did this too before my dad passed and now I try harder.

Part of the reason we need to look for additional support through grief counselling, grief support groups and online groups. I also found these websites helped me understand my grief better.

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

What's Your Grief

Grief Share

Please know we are here for you and with you.

[Aru]

hi...

i m sorry for your loss. I can understand what you mean. no one cares what you feel and they just want you to move on like nothing happened. i lost my father tragically and that day i felt something snapped inside me and all i fell is numbness. and whenever i tried to tell anyone they shifted the topic. they expect me to just walk on it which i cant and i can never in my life. and i miss him terribly... his unconditional love and care. i knew that even if whole world turned against me he will be there for me to protect me to love me but i lost everything. and now i hardly ever wish to talk to anyone around. i know they dont care to know what i feel and it will be mostly formality. i am just tryting to keep myself as busy as i can eventhough it wont stop me feeling the pain. i hope you keep coming here and share with us as we know how it feels in actual.