We lost our mother 2 weeks ago

[Rebeka]

Hello! 

I am Rebeka, 23 years old. I have 3 younger siblings who are 21,17 and 15 years old. Two weeks ago we lost our mother. She was diagnised with pineoblastoma 10 years ago, however she seemed to be quite okey recently. She received radiation therapy in 2013 and the long term side affects started to occur in the past two years. She forgot easier, she had balance problems and she fell sometimes while walking and also she lost most of her motivation. However the whole situation did not seem to be that bad, we were aware that she is not going to live 80 years but she was only 50 when she passed away in a sudden stroke. We said goodby on a Monday because they come to see me to the capital and my dad called me two days later about the bad news. I immedatialy rushed home and visit her in the hospital but she was in coma and we could not talk to her anymore. Two days later she passed away. The pain is unbearable, I lost my motivation and I feel so sorry for her mum, my little sister and my whole family. I cant imagine a life without her that i cant call her and she is not going to be part in my future life. I want to call her and Tell how my day went and after every thought i realize I can not do that anymore. I cry a lot, my emotions are changing every time, sometimes i feel quite okey and focus on that we had good life together altough it was quite short, and a moment later I burst in tears. After I am mad I feel I need to punch something and 5 minutes later i feel depressed. It is very strange. Is it normal? When am I going to a feel a bit better? 

Thank you for reading my story, I am not a native speaker I am from Europe but I hope my story is understandable. 

[Mikek]

Sorry about your loss.  Lost my mom last week. She was having chemo and responding well and all the sudden passed. Just talked to her the day before and we laughed and she seemed ok. 
 

Pain has been unbearable.  Just made arrangements for her funeral this morning and still can’t stop crying. It is better than a couple of days ago but the pain is still there. 
 

I talk to her every night now by myself. I converse to her like we used to everyday.  It helps me a bit.  She was the most loving person in the world. No one will ever love you more than your mom.  When that’s gone it hurts. I don’t think I will ever be the same. I’m just gonna try to make it to tomorrow and see what it brings.