I miss my dad.

[Sam_love]

I am using this place as a place to vent. Not necessarily a place to get advice, but advice is always welcomed. 

So i lost my dad in January of this year. It has not been easy, Me and my dad had a very special connection. I think he and I were both misunderstood by others, but understood each other. We did not have a love dovey relationship. He was not the type to sit there and tell me he loved me. He gave me and my brothers these awkward hugs. It was like hugs that you give someone that you don't really know. and you do the awkward dance of not know if u should hug or shake hands. That was my dad with everyone including family. But i did not need that. Me and my dad were always close. we had this unspoken language. I remember when i was younger i went every where with him. When we would watch TV we would have this weird finger fight. similar to a thumb war but we used all our fingers at the same time and tried to see who would bend the others finger first. When i was older i figured out I was Bi. My mom and I argued alot during this time. But my dad was always there. He would always tell my mom to let me be. At times hed stay quite and let us fight it out. But i knew he was there for me. I knew hed have my back and these types of things didnt matter to him. He just wanted me to be happy and healthy.  I did patch things up with my mom eventually. Me and my dad always had this things of poking at my mom. My dad loved to poke at people and make them made. the more mad someone got the more hed do it. I made fun of him back so he wouldn't mess with me. but wed gang up on my mom all the time. It was always so fun. I miss it soo much,. Even tho my dad was a quiet person the days are more quiet without him here. 

[reader]

Dear Sam,

Thank you for sharing your memories of your dad with us. I know for myself the first year after my dad passed away I was the most raw. Always know that everything you are feeling and thinking is normal and natural.

We are here for you.