I lost my 3 month old son

[Shakira221]

Hello Everyone, 

December of 2021 I gave birth to my first child. He was absolutely perfect, but he was born with a heart defect and my husband and I lost him a week ago. How do I get over the hurt? I keep thinking if I had did more research, took him to another hospital other than the one the cardiologist recommended he would still be here. I do not know how to get over the guilt and hurt that I feel. 

[Love bugs mom]

I lost my 17 year old son who was also perfect and I had the same thoughts he passed November 19 2021 I still blame everyone the fire department the ambulance and his Dr I still don't know what happened but I'm told it gets easier It hasn't yet for me but I hope it does for you I'm sorry for your loss

[Shakira221]

@Love bugs mom I’m sorry to hear about your son. I hope it gets better for you as well. Maybe we both will find a way to manage the pain one day. 

[Love bugs mom]

I've been having a rough time it's almost been 5 months and still cry every day he was such a sweet and amazing kid hopefully it does get better I feel alone without him we were very close I've just been drinking day and night which I know is not good but specially through holidays it gets worse today I finally took care of important things and I reordered card from AAA and I had to say I didn't need my son's card and cried and ran out 

[Valerie Lockhart]

Dear Shakira221 and Love Bugs Mom,

I' m so sorry for your loss. The sudden death of a child is a devastating tragedy. One day an apparently normal, healthy child fails to wake up. This is totally unexpected, for who imagines that any infant or child will die before its parents do? A child that has become the center of a mother’s boundless love is suddenly the focus of her boundless grief. Realize, though, that no matter how much we love another person, we cannot control his or her life, nor can we prevent “time and unforeseen occurrence” from befalling those we love. (Ecclesiastes 9:11) I know that it's easier said than done, but please don't blame yourself. Dwelling upon all kinds of “if only” will not change anything, but it may slow down your recovery. May the God of comfort take hold of your hand and walk beside you during this difficult time. 

[Shakira221]

On 4/12/2022 at 8:27 PM, Shakira221 said:

@Love bugs mom I’m sorry to hear about your son. I hope it gets better for you as well. Maybe we both will find a way to manage the pain one day. 

I hope so too @Love bugs mom

On 4/22/2022 at 12:33 PM, Valerie Lockhart said:

Dear Shakira221 and Love Bugs Mom,

I' m so sorry for your loss. The sudden death of a child is a devastating tragedy. One day an apparently normal, healthy child fails to wake up. This is totally unexpected, for who imagines that any infant or child will die before its parents do? A child that has become the center of a mother’s boundless love is suddenly the focus of her boundless grief. Realize, though, that no matter how much we love another person, we cannot control his or her life, nor can we prevent “time and unforeseen occurrence” from befalling those we love. (Ecclesiastes 9:11) I know that it's easier said than done, but please don't blame yourself. Dwelling upon all kinds of “if only” will not change anything, but it may slow down your recovery. May the God of comfort take hold of your hand and walk beside you during this difficult time. 

Thank you @Valerie Lockhart

[erin evelyn]

Hi Shakira.  Thank you so much for sharing your experience.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my first born and only child 38 years ago when he was 6 weeks old.  To this day I still believe I am at fault for his death, even tho this is far from the truth. A part of me doesn't want to believe I'm not at fault - I want to believe I AM at fault.  I'm having to teach myself how to accept my thoughts and not judge them. And it's taking a lot of practice.  I wish you peace in whatever form it arrives.  Erin, Michigan