Loss of Dad

[KweenB]

I lost my dad in 2008, I was 11, he was my best friend, my confidant, my support, we shared everything and anything together, nothing was too silly or the weird to be shared between us, when he got diagnosed with renal failure, we tried everything we could, we even opted for a transplant which he agreed to. Few days to the transplant, he stopped all his medications, cancelled the transplant, stopped  me from seeing him, because he knew I was going to change his mind on his decision, when he finally agreed to see me, we talked about so many things we liked to do, we talked about the places we would love to visit, I left happy thinking the transplant will proceed, he told his doctors to stop his medications, he stopped the dialysis too, he died a few days later. I was angry at everything and everyone, most especially myself for not trying enough, I can’t understand why he did what he did, especially without telling me, there’s absolutely no secret between us, I don’t even know how to grieve anymore, I lost my best friend I can’t seem to move past that. 

[reader]

Dear Kween,

It's clear how much you loved your dad and wanted him here with you as long as possible. As a child and even as a adult we all struggle to understand our parent's choices. We all hope that things could have been different.

I know I struggle too and look back often. Maybe it would help to talk to a grief counsellor or join a grief support group. 

Please know we are here to listen and support you in anyway we can.

[KweenB]

I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I joined this forum, I’ve never been able to express myself about my feelings