the guilt

[Skyepilot]

My father passed away unexpectedly in 2016, it was due to his addiction to alcohol. I thought I would have until 20 and he would die cr cigarettes. I sometimes feel so guilty. Why couldn't I have done more to help him? I had tried, I would tip the drinks, put rocks, dirt anything in it. I just feel so guilty. My birthday is coming up and i share it with him. I feel so guilty celebrating it since he no longer can. 

[reader]

Dear Skyepilot.

I'm sorry and I know it's really hard missing your dad and wishing you could have done more to help him. Please know that feeling guilty is very common when one is grieving. 

I struggle with this too. It's been 5 years and I still replay what happened and blame myself for not doing more. I think we all try and do the best we can in the moment. None of us can control the future or the people in our lives. 

Keep taking it day by day and know we are with you. x

[Wandering Soul]

Hello, Skyepilot.

Thank you for posting on here.  I agree whole-heartedly with Reader; feeling guilting is very common when one is grieving.  I still have moments of guilt, but I've had to come to the realization that each of us is given free will to make decisions along our journey.  We are responsible for those decisions, whether good or bad.  My Dad (angel date: 12/2020) used to tell me, "You can bring a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink."  He also used to tell me, "A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still."  Your father's decision was his and I'm not sure you could have changed the outcome, despite your loving efforts.  Celebrate your birthday.  Be gentle with yourself.  I'm grateful you are here.

Wandering Soul