Today is my late dad's birthday - First birthday since he passed

[Sydney12]

Hi everyone, 

Today was my dad's birthday. He passed in December 2021 and would have turned 65 today. He would have also finally made it to retirement. 

It was a very difficult day for me emotionally. I thought I would be OK since I was feeling fine in the last couple of days, but it turned out to be one of the roughest days I've experienced since he passed. I had some pictures stored and decided to take them out to create a photo album and the sight of those pictures really triggered the emotional outburst. 

I couldn't stop thinking of the fact that he will not see my sister graduate high school in the summer, my other sister graduate college, my brother get married. I'm the oldest and my heart aches for them. I can't even imagine what it's like for them to come home and not have their dad around. It must be scary for them to go to bed at night knowing my dad will never walk in the door ever again. I really can't stop thinking of my younger siblings and how difficult it must be for them. I'm a grown adult, so it is slightly different for me. 

It was a really difficult day which almost put me back in the same emotional state as I was in when he first died. I feel as though every "first" (birthday, father's day etc) will be like experiencing the news of their death over and over again. 

It's rough.

[JasonA30]

Hi Sydney

I am really sorry to hear about your dad and that you're having a really rough day. He sounds like an amazing father. It's so tough losing someone very close to us. I lost my mom end of November 2021 she was 61, and some days I just cry, we were extremely close. I am dreading all the firsts this year like Mother's Day and her birthday in July, my birthday I know I am going to be crying a lot on those days. Christmas was really hard without her. Looking at pictures of my mom get me crying almost instantly, I can totally relate to you. I am sorry I am prob not much help but I saw your post and wanted to let you know you're not alone. It is incredibly tough, some days more than others.

[Skyepilot]

3 hours ago, Sydney12 said:

Hi everyone, 

Today was my dad's birthday. He passed in December 2021 and would have turned 65 today. He would have also finally made it to retirement. 

It was a very difficult day for me emotionally. I thought I would be OK since I was feeling fine in the last couple of days, but it turned out to be one of the roughest days I've experienced since he passed. I had some pictures stored and decided to take them out to create a photo album and the sight of those pictures really triggered the emotional outburst. 

I couldn't stop thinking of the fact that he will not see my sister graduate high school in the summer, my other sister graduate college, my brother get married. I'm the oldest and my heart aches for them. I can't even imagine what it's like for them to come home and not have their dad around. It must be scary for them to go to bed at night knowing my dad will never walk in the door ever again. I really can't stop thinking of my younger siblings and how difficult it must be for them. I'm a grown adult, so it is slightly different for me. 

It was a really difficult day which almost put me back in the same emotional state as I was in when he first died. I feel as though every "first" (birthday, father's day etc) will be like experiencing the news of their death over and over again. 

It's rough.

Hi Sydney,

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I can absolutely empathize, the first birthday is the hardest. The first everything, first anniversary of the day, the first you realize you miss his hugs. As someone whose loss a father the pain is so hard to describe and when he wasn’t there for stuff it hurt. Please know the pain would always hurt this bad. There will be bad days and some good days. I hope at some point you’ll be able to celebrate him, i try to do that. I hope this made sense. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and know what your feeling is normal and you aren’t alone in this. 

[Tash28]

Hi Sydney, 

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad unexpectedly last year and this weekend is due to be his birthday, the first one without him and I've been a mess the past week just thinking about it. The first things are always hard because it just brings everything back to the surface. I think what makes it even harder is that life goes on and you just feel stuck with the grief and mourning. Hoping you managed to get through the day okay x