Back to pain again

[Elizabeth711]

I lost my Mom in April 2021 and I felt like things were getting better but lately all the grief is back.  I am crying again most days and feel so stressed. My job is a mess right now and I am trying to find a new job. I feel like so much is wrong and it is so hard. Every little thing that goes wrong feels like a huge setback. 

[reader]

Dear Elizabeth,

How you are feeling makes complete sense. I know that many of us feel the same way. Approaching the first angelversary is a trigger.  It's been 5 years since my dad passed and there are still days I still feel very weepy.  Trying to find a new job is another stress. Please know you are not alone and we are here to listen.

[ADM925]

13 hours ago, Elizabeth711 said:

Lately all the grief is back.  I am crying again most days and feel so stressed. My job is a mess right now and I am trying to find a new job. I feel like so much is wrong and it is so hard. Every little thing that goes wrong feels like a huge setback. 

I can understand because I lost Mom on 7/17/21 and it's been a downward spiral ever since, worse every day.  We lived together, I was her caregiver and we had only each other since 2000 when we lost my father.  I'm not close to anyone else and she was my only refuge.  People say her age should make it easier to lose her but it does not reduce the terror of being left alone without her at all, or the torment and heartbreak from constantly reliving what took her from me.  They go home with or to their loved ones and I return to the empty house to yearn for Mom because life is unbearable and a panicky nightmare without her.  I can't eat or sleep and like you everything feels wrong all the time.  One example - we loved to eat together, it was our joy and peace.  Now there is no peace ever and every moment is filled with dread of the present and future.  I hope you are able to find some relief somehow.       

[Lost now]

14 hours ago, Elizabeth711 said:

I lost my Mom in April 2021 and I felt like things were getting better but lately all the grief is back.  I am crying again most days and feel so stressed. My job is a mess right now and I am trying to find a new job. I feel like so much is wrong and it is so hard. Every little thing that goes wrong feels like a huge setback. 

Hi Elizabeth,

So sorry for your loss. I can totally understand what you are going through. I don't think time can heal this pain. I lost my mom on Jan 30th this year and struggling ever since. Yesterday I had a rough day. I was crying almost all day. 

Sometimes things go wrong when you are already going through something huge. You are emotionally broken and therefore everything else adds up to that. I understand.

I have always relied on my mom when things used to go wrong in my life. Now I am scared who will I go to when things fall apart.

Do you have any friends or relatives who can help you with the job search? Can you take a few days off from your current work and apply to other companies. I think it is getting overwhelming for you so you have to pause certain things sometimes.

Hope you find a way and get a new job soon.and your mom is always around you. She is going to help you. Whenever you feel low just think about what she would say to you.

Take care and I'm here if you would like to talk.

 

 

 

[Natitit]

April 4th 2021 I lost my mom suddenly unexpectedly in and a month later March 18th (today) 2021 I found my father dead in his chair. I was only 26 and still living with them. I know ur pain.