Recently lost my dad

[Blondielv]

I lost my dad three weeks ago and I still can’t believe he’s gone. I live in Florida and my parents are in Colorado. We are in the process of trying to move to Colorado in May. I have always dreaded the thought of losing a parent, especially living so far away. Once we decided to move I thought everything would be alright, I wouldn’t have to worry about not being there anymore, but it turned out I was wrong. Only two more months!  My dad hadn’t even been sick. He had a heart attack. I got the call at 1:30 am on February 22 that he had died (worst night of my life)and I was in disbelief. I hopped on a plane immediately to go be with my mom. The last time I saw them was Christmas. I never thought it would be the last time I ever saw him alive. I am so heartbroken. I stayed with my mom for three weeks but had to leave so I could get things packed up for the move. It was so hard to leave her there alone.  She is not taking this well at all. It hurts me to see her that way. While I was there I did not cry much, nor grieve, as I thought I needed to be strong for her. But now I am Hoping she doesn’t think me insensitive or uncaring. I loved my dad very much. I just can’t believe he is gone. I wonder so many things about that night that can never be answered. I know he is in a good place now but I miss him. 

[reader]

Dear Blondielv,

It's deeply painful to lose a parent. Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. You're mom will understand that you are doing the best you can given that you have to travel between states.

Please know we are with you. Thinking of you and your mom.

[ADM925]

19 hours ago, Blondielv said:

My dad hadn’t even been sick. He had a heart attack. I got the call at 1:30 am on February 22 that he had died (worst night of my life)and I was in disbelief

I can understand because we lost my dad shockingly in 2000.  Mom and I went to visit him in the orthopedic rehab (he had had an elective surgery) and were intercepted and taken into a room where they told us "He has no pulse and he's not breathing."   We too were in disbelief because he had just had an elective surgery.  We found out from the ME that he had a serious heart disease that he had never been told about or treated for.  He had a massive 'silent' heart attack after the surgery and was sent to rehab where his heart ruptured.  We tried to get justice for him for 6 years and failed.

Mom and I clung to each other for 21 years to survive this.  We were all each other had.  Now that I have lost her (on 7/17/21) I am devastated, heartbroken, paralyzed with terror and completely alone because she was my entire life and world.  Without her it is also like losing Dad all over again.  It must be a nightmare for you to have to leave your mom and be apart from her now.  I hope in time you can be with your mom so you can support each other after the terrible and shocking loss of your father.  

[Lost now]

22 hours ago, Blondielv said:

I lost my dad three weeks ago and I still can’t believe he’s gone. I live in Florida and my parents are in Colorado. We are in the process of trying to move to Colorado in May. I have always dreaded the thought of losing a parent, especially living so far away. Once we decided to move I thought everything would be alright, I wouldn’t have to worry about not being there anymore, but it turned out I was wrong. Only two more months!  My dad hadn’t even been sick. He had a heart attack. I got the call at 1:30 am on February 22 that he had died (worst night of my life)and I was in disbelief. I hopped on a plane immediately to go be with my mom. The last time I saw them was Christmas. I never thought it would be the last time I ever saw him alive. I am so heartbroken. I stayed with my mom for three weeks but had to leave so I could get things packed up for the move. It was so hard to leave her there alone.  She is not taking this well at all. It hurts me to see her that way. While I was there I did not cry much, nor grieve, as I thought I needed to be strong for her. But now I am Hoping she doesn’t think me insensitive or uncaring. I loved my dad very much. I just can’t believe he is gone. I wonder so many things about that night that can never be answered. I know he is in a good place now but I miss him. 

So sorry for your loss. Loss of a parent is the worst possible pain. I lost my mom to a sudden cardy arrest over a month ago. She was only 58 and had no illness. So it was a shock. I am very attached to my mom. Every day every second is so difficult.

I know you are struggling a lot. You didn't cry because you were trying to be strong for her and that's so sweet of you. Once you go back, she will be happy. She will like having you around. It's a difficult situation but I know you will help your mom. That's what I am trying to do- help my dad as much as possible. 

Sending some strength your way.

Take care.