Advice

[Butros01]

So this was recommended to me because I'm having a horrible time I lost my mother on February 4th. We we're really close and she had moved a couple of states away from me and had not been feeling well for a while and wanted me to come down and help her out. I broke my ankle then I got covid and she passed away before I could get down there. 

I'm not religious at all. I'm just having like the worst grief, depression, anxiety that I've ever felt in my life and I just need some advice. What have you done to help with this in your life. I start regular therapy next week. 

I literally can't even work because I just can't stop crying. I am out on short term disability but I need and want to go back to work.

Any suggestions other than what I'm doing. My doctor recommended a grief therapy group in person but all I have found are religious ones.

Any advice would be great. Thanks in advance.

[Lost now]

5 hours ago, Butros01 said:

So this was recommended to me because I'm having a horrible time I lost my mother on February 4th. We we're really close and she had moved a couple of states away from me and had not been feeling well for a while and wanted me to come down and help her out. I broke my ankle then I got covid and she passed away before I could get down there. 

I'm not religious at all. I'm just having like the worst grief, depression, anxiety that I've ever felt in my life and I just need some advice. What have you done to help with this in your life. I start regular therapy next week. 

I literally can't even work because I just can't stop crying. I am out on short term disability but I need and want to go back to work.

Any suggestions other than what I'm doing. My doctor recommended a grief therapy group in person but all I have found are religious ones.

Any advice would be great. Thanks in advance.

Hi Butros01, I can relate to everything you have said. I lost my mom suddenly and unexpectedly over a month ago. She was only 58. I am only 31. I have always depended on her for a lot of things. I am very attached to her and cannot imagine my life without her. My situation is so bad ever since it happened. I am just a dead body living without and motivation to live this life.

I am not much religious and was not spiritual either but I have read so many articles and watched so many videos on afterlife (watch Matt Fraser videos on YouTube) that I have started believing in afterlife. I have heard from many people both strangers and friends about their experiences of going to a medium and Everyone had great ones. The medium told them things which only they would know and is not on social media. 

This also gives me comfort and heals me knowing that my mom is there. She is not around me in the physical form but she is around me and one day we will reunite.

Another thing that has helped me is listening to audio book on grief. The books are written by authors who have gone through something similar and listening to them helped a little. Some of the books are:

It's ok that you are not on but Megan Devine. 

Anxiety the missing stage of grief by Claire S. Bidwell.

Third thing that has helped me is talking to others on this site and another online grief group I have joined .

I am on anxiety, depression and sleep medication.

I also go to grief therapy.

These all things help a little but not a lot because the pain is huge and unbearable. 

I keep telling myself that one day we all are going to die so this pain is not permanent.

I have had thoughts about ending my life but will never do it because I can't do it to my dad who is already broken and I can't disrespect my mom. She made me. I am made from her cells.  I am her DNA. So I can't hurt my body.

I know how difficult it is. Trust me I am in a bad state just like you are.

I have started working (remote work on my laptop) but my productivity is close to 0. 

I eat very minimum and feel guilty when I eat good food and accidentally watch something on the TV. So I avoid all those things.

Please keep talking and know that you are not alone. We are all suffering together.

 

 

 

 

[Butros01]

I really appreciate all the information. My daughter is actually into the spiritual thing with mediums etc. I just hate the not knowing. To me she is just gone. 

On top of that I hate hearing "she's not in pain anymore". Awesome I'm glad she isn't but selfishly I still want her here regardless and then I feel bad for that.

I don't really talk to family. She was usually the only one. I have siblings but my bond was different I feel and they can't understand the amount of sorrow I have.

I have older children but I don't want to burden them. We lived with her most of their lives and I know it has broken them too. And then I feel bad about that because I really can't be there for them because I can't be here for myself barely.

I am going to check out some of the books you recommended and the YouTube thing.

Thanks again.