Can you enjoy?

[Bill V]

I have found a lot of joy, I started camping again, going places, just took a road trip to Seattle to see my Son and Daughter in law then took my time coming home. I can now think about my wife with joy and happiness remembering the fun we had. I still miss her but have come to the conclusion no mater what I do I can not bring her back.  Before she passed she told me to continue to enjoy my life get remarried and not grieve for a long time. Just knowing she wanted me to continue on with my life has been a great help. Now the getting married part will most likely not happen, just not interested in that this late in the game but someone to go camping with, having dinner and just going out would be a plus. 

[Sparky1]

I feel all the emotions that have been described in these posts. Yes, there are little joys that help for a short time, but eventually the thought of her not being here overwhelms me. It's like she's been gone for 20 years and at the same time some memories are so clear that it seems like it happened yesterday. Another thing I have noticed is that if I go out to the store ( I don't go to many places), I feel like I always have to rush. When my wife and I went to a store or mall, it seems like time stood still, there was no rush. I had her with me, I didn't worry about anything else. I was content  being with her because there was no other place I'd rather be. Like she used to say, " we are a unit". Now I'm half a person who lost a big part of himself.

 

[RN-Nix]

@Sparky1when I try to have "complete" thoughts of us such as any conversation we've had or us sitting at the dining table or on the sofa or riding in the car together, I get overwhelmed and sad.. people in the beginning would say "think about the good times and the memories " but being in the deep shock state I was in, those words made my grief 100 times worse. I couldn't think let alone think of memories. The only thought I had was "I can't believe he is gone" and then the uncontrollable crying. Just reliving the memories knowing that they were now gone depressed me even more. One day I may be able to look back and smile but today definitely has not been that day and I will face tomorrow when it gets here. .....1 hour at a time.

[Canadagirl81]

@RN-Nix Sundays are very hard for me too. We would wake up and make breakfast sandwiches or pancakes then we would go for a big hike, watch documentaries, cuddle and just be. I went for a walk today but haven't made "Sunday Breakfast" since he passed...I just can't. I talk to very few people about Glenn and just like for you, people go back to their own lives and a lot of them simply have never experienced a loss like we have so they can't relate. I'm so glad we have this space to be with people who truly get it. I know Glenn would want to be here too. Today I actually went into his browser history on his phone and he was researching "remedies for bad heartburn" several times that day, right up until about 3:30pm....he passed shortly after that. It's horrific. I wish we all knew what was happening but nothing can be changed now, I think that's the part I just can't wrap my head around. I know you get it too. I'm trying to just flow with all the emotions that come with this awful reality and remember he wants me to be happy. He doesn't get to live, I am still alive...I should try my best to enjoy it...for him...for us.... Hugs honey..I'm always here for you. 

[Canadagirl81]

43 minutes ago, Sparky1 said:

It's like she's been gone for 20 years and at the same time some memories are so clear that it seems like it happened yesterday.

 

Man do I feel this @Sparky1 Feels like a million years ago and 10 minutes ago at the same time. Going to places is hard as well....we had so much fun just being out and about together...now I'm on autopilot at the grocery store, all the people around me having no idea I'm basically a zombie on the inside. Hugs to you....I'm so sorry you lost your wife <3

Happy for you @Bill V Your wife would be so proud of you. Camping is awesome. Thanks for the inspiration. 

[RN-Nix]

@Canadagirl81cooking again was extremely hard and depressing but I had to do it. I had already lost a lot of weight and I was already on the small side. At least you were able to go for a walk. That is definitely a small step in the right direction.  We can't rush this process no matter how hard we try. Prior to my own near death experience I was also doing some research so im not surprised he did that. Life has truly thrown us a curve ball. I knew he would eventually leave me I just thought we would have more time. Now I know time waits for no man. He wanted me to be happy but that doesn't matter to me. I'm not happy because he is not here.  That happiness may manifest some other way ...until then I am learning to be "content" in the state that I am in until the fog lifts.  Sleep well tonight.  Sending hugs back to you .

@Bill V you have made great strides and that is definitely something to be proud of!!!!!! I'm sure it has added some  peace of mind too. 

[Jen H]

5 hours ago, Canadagirl81 said:

My person that made everything so happy and fun is gone. I know I can be those things for myself but life is meant to be shared and I just can't believe my reality without him and having to face day after day with this consciousness. I almost don't want it anymore. You aren't alone in the struggle at all. If I hear one more time "eventually you'll have to start moving on" I think I'll rip my own head off. Empty....yes. The quiet....deafening. What do we do? Just keep going I guess and hope it gets better? Maybe it will. Maybe one day I'll actually feel happy again but I know that it won't feel as fully happy as it could but that's just what I have to accept

Yes exactly, thank you for that.  He was all I had left and I did and shared everything with him.  Now I'm truly on my own.  Yes we have to just keep going and make the best of it.  I'm really trying but the emptiness inside is relentless.  

 

3 hours ago, tnd said:

Jen H:  You just have to keep at it. And maybe move some goal posts. For instance, if you were wanting or expecting something good to happen and it hasn't, it doesn't mean that it won't. Maybe move the goal post and give things more time. A lot more time. And while you work at getting there, be gentle on yourself and do whatever takes for you to feel better. Sometimes a long nap helps. Sometimes it's just sitting and watching my cats or talking to them when there's no one else. Surprisingly, all these little things help but it's only day-to-day. 

 Yes I know I have to keep at it.  It definitely is gonna take a good amount of time.  Just when I think I'm doing better, I go backwards but I have to accept this and deal with it.  The simplest things I do appreciate and treasure them like a warm sunny day, a good meal, or my kittens being cute and fun.  Your positively is encouraging.  

 

5 hours ago, RN-Nix said:

@Jen HI do things because I have to not because I want to or have the desire to. I get it I totally get it !!!! I feel it and I feel your pain. Take a deep breath and continue to vent and reach out to us we hear you. We get it we understand.  I'm optimistic for all of us that someday we will find a way to go on...

Yes I feel like I have no desire to do anything either.  I have to push myself to go out and try to enjoy life. Luckily I am a homebody and like being alone and at home but I can't let myself become so isolated.  Spring is finally here which is a positive thing.  My favorite time of the year.  Hopefully I can muster enough strength to get out more.  

I'm so grateful for you and everyone here. You guys are the only people I have to talk to about this.  Hugs to everyone.  

[Jen H]

2 hours ago, Sparky1 said:

 Yes, there are little joys that help for a short time, but eventually the thought of her not being here overwhelms me. 

 

So true.  I do find moments of joy everyday but that deep inside sadness and emptiness never leaves even while the joy is happening.  I know this takes time to fade but does it ever go away?  

[KayC]

15 hours ago, Jen H said:

I m trying my best but my life feels so empty no matter what I do.  

I know.  (((hugs)))

 

[KayC]

13 hours ago, Bill V said:

I have found a lot of joy, I started camping again, going places

I'm glad you have that.  I always loved camping but the thought of going alone does not appeal to me.  Some things are best shared.  I have a picture of us holding hands out camping, I hate how I look in it but George's face looks like absolute rapture!  We were so happy together...

12 hours ago, RN-Nix said:

people in the beginning would say "think about the good times and the memories "

People say stupid things.  It takes much time to get to this point!  In the beginning we're in the horror and shock stage.

12 hours ago, Canadagirl81 said:

Sundays are very hard for me too. We would wake up and make breakfast sandwiches or pancakes then we would go for a big hike, watch documentaries, cuddle and just be.

I found nights/weekends the hardest as that was our time together.  In the weekdays we worked.  Now every day is like another as I'm retired, and each one is alone.  I'm thankful for my puppy.

12 hours ago, RN-Nix said:

 

@Bill V you have made great strides and that is definitely something to be proud of!!!!!!

I agree, you are very resilient!

10 hours ago, Jen H said:

I have to push myself to go out and try to enjoy life. Luckily I am a homebody and like being alone and at home but I can't let myself become so isolated.

Yes...I think this is true for all of us, we reach a point we need to push past our comfort zone...it's hard at first.

9 hours ago, Jen H said:

I know this takes time to fade but does it ever go away?  

It depends on the individual, how they handle this, how much effort they put into their grief, it's work, how resilient they are, their own set of coping skills, do they get counseling, read books/articles on grief, come here and post/read, do they push past their comfort zone and make themselves get out, what support do they have, do they make effort at making friends, doing things.  There is no one set answer.

[PLin]

Sending you all a gigantic hug. Sometimes a hug works magic. A real hug would be better but unfortunately, I can only offer a virtual one.

 

 

[Jeffh]

I have the same issue. No matter what I do or go with friends and kids. I feel guilty and don't feel like I can enjoy life anymore.

[Loriii]

I feel so depressed. Honestly. Sometimes, I find joy doing something but it is just temporary. The sadness, loneliness, emptiness and hopelessness are always there. Sometimes, it makes me feel that I just want to sleep. At least, I don't find it that hard to sleep now compared to the early days of my grieving. I also get positive dreams for the most part. I'd rather be in one of those dreams than wake up in this reality. There are also times that I just don't want to talk. Like when people ask about my story and my experience, I feel that I'd rather keep quiet and focus mostly in listening to their stories. Sometimes, I feel tired of saying the same things over and over, because I feel like they wouldn't completely understand. There are only a few people that I share my stories with, and that's because I feel that they genuinely care. Even if I don't say anything, or maybe tried to dodge the question the last time, they'd still continue checking up on me. They say that they're thinking about me. Those are the times that I feel joy. I feel joy spending time and talking to them. But I'm always scared because I feel that these things won't last. Based from my experience, they usually never last. I just hope this time I'm wrong.

[RN-Nix]

@LoriiiI wished there was a magic wand to wave to take our pain away and better yet bring our loved ones back but there isn't..I too share your feelings. I always read the posts and say "my goodness you all are taking the thoughts right out of my head "  . I've always been an optimistic person and I'm still optimistic that we will see our loved ones again BUT I'm not optimistic when it comes to the pain we are feeling and how long will it will last. I sat with my parents tonight and I just sat there looking at my phone.  I don't engage in much conversation. Only with my kids.  To get a few hours sleep during the week, I've found a tea that literally knocks me out.  It is very calming and I'm able to sleep for about 4-5 hours. On Fridays i drink a half cup of wine and that completely relaxes me. This is just a part of life that we just can't avoid.  We have to go through the fire. Sometimes I'm up but deep inside I'm sad so so so sad. You are not alone in the way you feel. Please trust me on that. 

[Loriii]

50 minutes ago, RN-Nix said:

@LoriiiI wished there was a magic wand to wave to take our pain away and better yet bring our loved ones back but there isn't..I too share your feelings. I always read the posts and say "my goodness you all are taking the thoughts right out of my head "  . I've always been an optimistic person and I'm still optimistic that we will see our loved ones again BUT I'm not optimistic when it comes to the pain we are feeling and how long will it will last. I sat with my parents tonight and I just sat there looking at my phone.  I don't engage in much conversation. Only with my kids.  To get a few hours sleep during the week, I've found a tea that literally knocks me out.  It is very calming and I'm able to sleep for about 4-5 hours. On Fridays i drink a half cup of wine and that completely relaxes me. This is just a part of life that we just can't avoid.  We have to go through the fire. Sometimes I'm up but deep inside I'm sad so so so sad. You are not alone in the way you feel. Please trust me on that. 

Thank you so much and appreciate you responding. Oh, how I wish there's some kind of magic wand that will do that even if we can only use it once. Like a wish, just one wish to get everything back to the way it used to be. I've also been optimistic. I'm optimistic when it comes to other people like I believe in them and that they can get through with the grief and whatever situation they're into right now. But with me, well, I'm just tired of feeling the seemingly endless pain that I've been going through everyday. I'm relieved to hear that you found a tea that works wonders for you, when you need to sleep. 4-5 hours still isn't enough, to be honest, but I guess it's okay for now than almost no rest. Take it easy with the wine, but like you said only half cup every week. Oh, I'm tired of going through the fire, but we have no other choice. It's also literally getting hotter where I live. Makes me feel annoyed even more. Aww, "so so so sad", I feel you RN-Nix. You aren't going to be alone and will never be.

[Jemiga70]

About a month ago my company hosted a dinner at a restaurant.  I was reluctant to go but decided to because the reluctance wasnt overwhelming and I thought "What the hell, why not see how it goes?"  Well, there were about 12 of us either side of a long table and I could neither start a conversation nor hold one, nor had any interest in any conversation for that matter, and when the guy across the table started talking to me it went in one ear and out the other, me nodding and trying to focus but nothing doing. Everything was uninteresting including dinner.  Thank God I didnt' touch a drink. At one point the anxiety got so bad I felt I might fly out of my skin!  So after being there for about 90 mins I excused myself and went straight home. Overall I felt terrible; it had nothing to do with the generosity of my company but EVERYTHING to do with the damned grief. I'm not planning on attending any more big social events.

[Jeffh]

I understand. i feel the same. 

[Roxeanne]

@Jemiga70 i know it is very hard! You feel rightly as if you not belong to these "little things" that surround us..

The loss of someone we love inevitably confront us with the great misteries of life over than an immense pain! 

Everything seems meaningless, without purpose...even annoying...life can be so trivial ?

I still have this feelings after 4 years sometimes! Rightly or wrongly i chose to force myself out with my huge void inside!

It's really a hard effort in the first but it's a good training...and  now i appreciate my evenings with friends or former colleagues.

 i always miss my life with him so wonderful and funny....but what chance we do have if not to return to live in some ways ?

 

 

[Steve79]

I used to listen to a certain comedy podcast most nights at work, and have for over 2 years. I've not been able to listen to them at all for a while, though have tried again lately. Once or twice they made me laugh, but it felt so wrong, and I felt guilty. 

Being with friends is a little difficult. I can talk about the banal, but I find it difficult, and yearn to express my grief as more than a trivial 2 minute piece of catch up news.

I just took a walk outside, and it's a warm sunny day. S loved her garden and loved days like this, so the walk was dominated with feelings and thoughts about how the day belonged to her, how she can no longer enjoy it, and not my enjoyment of it. 

We met in a bar, and enjoyed Saturday nights together in bars. I can't even contemplate going out alone, yet alone actually do it, even though I used to go out alone a lot too. 

These are just a few examples. It's very difficult to appreciate the normal and mundane without every action somehow linking back to S. 

I'm not sure when or how any of us will ever enjoy life as we did again. 

[KayC]

1 hour ago, Roxeanne said:

You feel rightly as if you not belong to these "little things" that surround us.

Yes, everything seems mundane, mediocre in comparison to what we're going through.  It's like someone talking about what dress they're going to wear to a party while your heart is ripped in two!  We can't relate and we just want the hell out of there!

1 hour ago, Roxeanne said:

Rightly or wrongly i chose to force myself out with my huge void inside!

This!

[RN-Nix]

@LoriiiI am the same way. I can encourage anyone through anything but even today I'm feeling some terrible kind of way and NO ONE knows. Who is there to encourage me? This is so sad . I woke up at 3am and feeling so tired already. I slept at my parents home and didn't get to drink my tea.  The 4-5 hours it gives me is welcomed bc initially I was getting 5-10 minutes every hour and then it was time to wake up.  This death has thrown me for a loop. I feel like I'm being punished and it doesn't matter how much good I've done I just feel like this is my fate. I have 2 books that I'm reading and have renewed from the library twice already because  I am reading very slow. One of the books has convinced me about the soul and I'm seeing how things align. The other is someone writing about the loss of a spouse. I'm trying to be optimistic BUT I can't keep fooling myself. I'm terribly unhappy, sad, non motivated, depressed.  I'm just going for my kids . I have to see them through to adult hood. I've made a good life for myself and them. Now they are spreading their wings and I want to be able to give them the tools they need to get on their feet. I grew up an only child and hated it . I have 1 sibling much younger doing their own thing. I don't have family support through this and you would think a mother would be comforting but she is not so I don't even talk to her about what I feel. This is the person who tells me to "don't even start crying" when I walked into the wake...go figure . Today is NOT a good day and I'm not much of an encouragement for anyone.  I'm sorry but I do get what you are feeling.

[RN-Nix]

@Jemiga70at least you went . we had a big work event on Saturday I did not go. No one could convince me to go...actually only 1 lady asked if I was going . I'm glad I did not. I know the state I'm in and I'm definitely not good company. So I did what's most comfortable and that was staying home.

[Steve79]

3 hours ago, RN-Nix said:

@LoriiiI am the same way. I can encourage anyone through anything but even today I'm feeling some terrible kind of way and NO ONE knows. Who is there to encourage me? This is so sad . I woke up at 3am and feeling so tired already. I slept at my parents home and didn't get to drink my tea.  The 4-5 hours it gives me is welcomed bc initially I was getting 5-10 minutes every hour and then it was time to wake up.  This death has thrown me for a loop. I feel like I'm being punished and it doesn't matter how much good I've done I just feel like this is my fate. I have 2 books that I'm reading and have renewed from the library twice already because  I am reading very slow. One of the books has convinced me about the soul and I'm seeing how things align. The other is someone writing about the loss of a spouse. I'm trying to be optimistic BUT I can't keep fooling myself. I'm terribly unhappy, sad, non motivated, depressed.  I'm just going for my kids . I have to see them through to adult hood. I've made a good life for myself and them. Now they are spreading their wings and I want to be able to give them the tools they need to get on their feet. I grew up an only child and hated it . I have 1 sibling much younger doing their own thing. I don't have family support through this and you would think a mother would be comforting but she is not so I don't even talk to her about what I feel. This is the person who tells me to "don't even start crying" when I walked into the wake...go figure . Today is NOT a good day and I'm not much of an encouragement for anyone.  I'm sorry but I do get what you are feeling.

We now know, and that's an improvement on your day already! 

I'm sorry you're going through this today. How are the books helping you? They sound interesting. 

[Jemiga70]

19 hours ago, Roxeanne said:

It's really a hard effort in the first but it's a good training..

Thanks Roxeanne. Agreed. I usually do what my heart/gut tells me. I felt like going so I went and it turned out terrible and so what? Doesnt matter in the grand scheme.

18 hours ago, KayC said:

Yes, everything seems mundane, mediocre in comparison to what we're going through.  It's like someone talking about what dress they're going to wear to a party while your heart is ripped in two!  We can't relate and we just want the hell out of there!

Exactly! This is why I have no desire to do anything but the basics -- work, eat, sleep -- and I'm OK with that for now.

17 hours ago, RN-Nix said:

This is the person who tells me to "don't even start crying" when I walked into the wake

So cruel and heartless; what a terrible thing to say. I'm sorry you had to hear this, and from your mother no less. Astonishing.

[KayC]

On 3/22/2022 at 7:12 AM, RN-Nix said:

I don't have family support through this and you would think a mother would be comforting but she is not so I don't even talk to her about what I feel. This is the person who tells me to "don't even start crying" when I walked into the wake.

Wow.  I would distance myself from a mom like that!  Not telling you what to do, saying what I would do, knowing all that I know now...I've become more protective of myself lately out of necessity.  

You're a good mom, thinking of your kids and trying to do what's best for them.  I'm glad you're realizing it for yourself as well.

[RN-Nix]

@KayCI agree with you. Ive spent an entire lifetime wondering why she can't give me what I need...unconditional love and support. This makes my grief worse.  I have to accept what will never be. For someone to tell you to stop crying because your crying is going to affect them is so crazy to me. I just focus on my kids that's all I really have and they will be gone soon too. Some people go through life living their best life while others are emotionally scarred

[KayC]

23 hours ago, RN-Nix said:

I have to accept what will never be.

I understand.  Just don't ever let her behaviors affect your feelings about YOU!  I had a mentally ill mother who was controlling and highly abusive, I never let her be alone with my kids.  One time we were rifling through a sale table at Meier & Frank, my son was one, in diapers, and he was "helping" (I was looking for a mate to a shoe as all sizes/shoes were in a jumble...you couldn't hurt them, there was no organization to it) and my mom told him to leave them alone (not her place) and he said his favorite word at that age, No!  she picked him up and beat his butt so quickly I couldn't get to him in time!  I whisked him away and sharply ended our outing with "Ever do that again and I'm calling the police.  It's called CHILD ABUSE!" I took her home and dropped her off.  She was horrible, it was all of her inner demons.  She was out of control and unhappy.  (BTW she never touched him again, although she did leave his graduation ceremony before his Valedictorian speech, making my sister drive her home and miss it too...I would have made her sit in the car).  I stuck with her through her whole life, paranoia, dementia, and all, but it wasn't easy.  My sisters and i were each other's biggest supporters, we supported each other however each one chose to handle her, sometimes one wouldn't speak to her for years, that was okay too, we understood.  However we chose to get through it was up to us at the time, we only wanted each other to know we understood and cared.  One time I called her out on interfering in my child rearing (I had a child who would only eat the cheese off pizza, so we went out for pizza and I handed the child a piece of pizza, they took it with good humor and lesson learned) when I told my mom she wouldn't have like her mom interfering and I didn't like it any better, she stormed out and didn't speak to me for a year.  It was a quiet peaceful year!

 

[RN-Nix]

@Steve79the Souls Code is very good.  Very deep

[RN-Nix]

@KayC thank you for sharing . What happened with your mom was horrible but it sounds like she had a diagnosed illness.  With my mom she swears everyone else is the problem and never sees her self. How do you have a child you never say "I love you to"? Or "I'm proud of you ? anyhow i see my fault which is always seeking her approval and love which now that I recognize my faults I will stop bc it angers me and I lash out at her. My brother is her pride and joy but whatever...I only brought her up to show how she was at the wake.  This was the first time seeing him after we saw each other just a few days before cuddled in my home ...now to see him in a casket....of course I'm gonna cry why thr hell should I "don't even try it"

[Jen H]

RN- Nix, that's probably exactly what my mom would have said to me.  My mother tried her best and I know she loved me but all she did was criticize me and compare me to everyone like they were all better than me.  She showed no physical affection, that's how she was raised, and hated when I showed any kind of emotion. She was a hypochondriac, alcoholic when she was younger, and anorexic later on in life which eventually killed her.  When my dad died suddenly (they were divorced) I broke the news to her and started crying.  She shocked me by giving me a hug but two seconds later she said that's enough and to get off of her.  She's been gone since 2010 but how she was with me still affects me now.  If she is going to be a negative part in your grief than unfortunately you should keep her at a distance.  You seem to be a strong and great mom to your kids so that's all that matters right now.  

 

 

 

 

[RN-Nix]

@Jen H you are so correct. I've tried distancing myself before, going to counseling and the counselor would say the same thing...distance lol . Somehow I would feel guilty but when a friend mentioned just this week that I'm seeking what she can't give me those words hit home ....it's sad bc I know that I'm a loving and affectionate person.  I think she is passive aggressive, has control issues and feels she is always the victim.  Anyhow too bad. I know I'm bitter about a lot of things she said to me in childhood like "if I could do it all over I wouldn't have any children " who the hell says crap like that she is a trip BUT the devil has a way of showing up to compound the grief...THIS is a topic by itself smh. I'm so sorry your mom was that a way....I'm sure when my mom passes the unresolved issues will affect me but maybe that's why I'm being given plenty of time to prepare...it's too much . Its the weekend and I dread it ......It's just horrible all around what we have to endure with our loss.

[KayC]

On 3/25/2022 at 10:18 AM, RN-Nix said:

it sounds like she had a diagnosed illness.

Not until she was 90 and evaluated for her dementia...she never got help until going into dementia care which we had to take her to court to get a court-ordered medical evaluation, which resulted in her being ordered into 24/7 lockdown, and THEN they got her on medication for her severe paranoia, but we also tested her and discovered she had most personality disorders, schizoid, paranoia, narcissistic, histrionic, so many more, not bipolar (she never had ups).  There was a reason she couldn't make/keep friends.  She was nuts, seriously.  I'm amazed no one took us kids from her, not for my lack of trying, I reported it to the school, no one did anything.  Times have changed now.  I ran away from home, let them know what I was going through, I begged to be put into a foster home, said I'd clean/cook, do anything!  Nope, locked ME up until I agreed to go home.  I ran away at 17 and got married, that was a big mistake!  He was a monster!  How do you recognize a monster or abnormal when that is all you have ever known???  I had a lot of counseling afterwards.

On 3/25/2022 at 10:18 AM, RN-Nix said:

of course I'm gonna cry why thr hell should I "don't even try it"

Your mom is definitely someone to protect yourself from.  You have a lot on your plate, you definitely don't need that now...or ever.  I'm sorry.  Just know it's not you, it truly is her.

[KayC]

On 3/25/2022 at 1:32 PM, Jen H said:

RN- Nix, that's probably exactly what my mom would have said to me.

I am so sorry.   The one thing I am really proud of, if I've done nothing else right in my life, I was a great mom!  I stopped that cycle of abuse.  I truly love and care for my kids.  Not to say our mothers didn't, but they had a helluva way of showing it sometimes!  My mom thought being a good mom was cleaning/cooking.  I'd have settled for a messy house if only we had love and normalcy in it.

On 3/25/2022 at 1:50 PM, RN-Nix said:

I'm seeking what she can't give me

[RN-Nix]

KayC thank you. I too have strived to be supportive of my children no matter what I have going on. I realize she will never be anything different.  She is who she is but I don't have to deal with the negativity. She just thinks she is perfect. I even listen to the way she speaks to her husband...smh. she knows I call her out on her wrongs ...she then plays the passive aggressive victim. Live and let live I guess....

[KayC]

Today, the morning after my sister passed, I see the topic question, "Can you enjoy???"

Nope, not today, tomorrow doesn't look good either...