Anniversary

[Soniagold]

I lost my Nonna on the 26th February 2021, Then my beautiful Mum on the 23rd March 2021 Mother and daughter. I haven’t grieved for either of them. I miss them both terribly. Each day seems to be getting harder not easier. My mum was my best friend!

[reader]

Dear Soniagold,

I'm very sorry for your losses. Thinking of you on these anniversaries for your mum and Nonna. x 

[ADM925]

11 hours ago, Soniagold said:

I lost my Nonna on the 26th February 2021, Then my beautiful Mum on the 23rd March 2021 Mother and daughter

How can it be that your heart is ripped out twice in such a short time, at a time when you will need your Mum more than ever to help you cope with Nonna's devastating loss?  The cruel and brutal horrors that happen to people in this life and world are beyond measure and comprehension.  I lost my Dad in 2000 but Mom and I had 21 years to cling to each other and that is how we both survived.   

11 hours ago, Soniagold said:

I miss them both terribly. Each day seems to be getting harder not easier. My mum was my best friend!

When I lost Mom on 7/17/21 I felt like my life and world came to an end as well because we were inseparable for nearly 60 years (only son who stayed at home).  She was my only loved one, my best and only true friend and sole refuge in the world, and the anguish is getting worse each day.  The horrors and heartbreaks of what Mom went through for 8 1/2 months, in 3 different places, first with the ventilator and later a tracheostomy and feeding tube, will never stop haunting me (pleading for food and water and couldn't have either).  We weren't allowed to see each other for 3 months because of the Covid.  Mom miraculously came home, which they told me would never happen, but her loss 7 1/2 months ago was the final blow, and it is destroying me more every day.  Being forced to face life alone is paralyzing and beyond terrifying, and I wonder how much longer I will last in a place I don't want to be anymore, with people who keep telling me to just get over it already. 

I try to cling to our family's faith but dread that somehow I'll be found unworthy, and that's making me even more unhinged,  I'll dream of Mom and it will feel so real that the true-life nightmare seems over, until I wake up with a shock alone in the empty house.  I hope we can all survive these living hells we are in and find peace and relief at some place and time.