Reaching out for desperately needed help and support

[Kelz]

Hi my name is Kel I lost my mother 5 months ago. I struggle with some mental conditions (borderline personality disorder, bipolar, anxiety and panic disorder, and ptsd. I am medicated but still struggle everyday with feeling normal. So I just lost my mom who is my best friend and I’m struggling bad. I am in a really dark place and for me that can be a matter of life and death. I am inching towards going down a downward spiral. I went through a downward spiral before for a year was very self destructive which I am surprised I made it out alive. I lost my self after she died and the anguish is just to unbearable. I don’t know what to do I feel so alone and scared. I feel there’s no hope no light at the end of the tunnel. I know a lot of people feel this way with grief but knowing myself I’m not sure I can make it through this. Help me

[reader]

Dear Kelz,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain and sorrow is unbearable without your beloved mom. It's very hard. 

Please know you are not alone. And I'm glad you are reaching out for support and help. 

I don't know where you live but if you feel desperate it's important to call. We are with you. x 

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disaster-distress-helpline

https://www.apa.org/topics/crisis-hotlines

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention

[Lost now]

7 hours ago, Kelz said:

Hi my name is Kel I lost my mother 5 months ago. I struggle with some mental conditions (borderline personality disorder, bipolar, anxiety and panic disorder, and ptsd. I am medicated but still struggle everyday with feeling normal. So I just lost my mom who is my best friend and I’m struggling bad. I am in a really dark place and for me that can be a matter of life and death. I am inching towards going down a downward spiral. I went through a downward spiral before for a year was very self destructive which I am surprised I made it out alive. I lost my self after she died and the anguish is just to unbearable. I don’t know what to do I feel so alone and scared. I feel there’s no hope no light at the end of the tunnel. I know a lot of people feel this way with grief but knowing myself I’m not sure I can make it through this. Help me

Hi Kel,

 

I can totally relate to you. I lost my mom 3 weeks ago to a sudden cardiac arrest and it's was so unexpected. I'm in bad state ever since and I don't think I will ever recover. My mom is my everything like everything. She loves me so much and I cannot keep going without her.

You have to live for her. She would want you to live. You are her DNA, she made you. At least take care of yourself. My therapist said just try to be a robot right now and do the basic things. Don't try  anything else. 

I am struggling a lot and I know how you feel. I am getting panic attacks and shaking sometimes. 

Please write to her and listen to some audible books -good grief Theresa Caputo and It's ok to be not ok by Megan. These books will help you feel a little better 

Your mom is sitting with you in your room. Moms never leave their kids. I know my mom is with me right now. 

Please don't do anything which your mom would hate. She wants her daughter to live.

I know you can't be happy right now but try to be neutral towards your tasks.

 

[randyandcarmenskid]

Hello Kelz,

I am sorry to hear about your mom’s passing and I understand your hurt. I too lost my mom, 11/15/2020. I also lost my mother-in-law, 12/16/2021 and recently lost my dad, 2/2/2022. To say I have fallen off the deep end emotionally is an understatement. Sometimes I don’t know how to move on but I know for a fact all three of my loved ones would want me to LIVE. Fight the good fight and keep MOVING. I feel my dad’s presence a lot. I think because I wasn’t able to be with him when he passed. He had emergency surgery and contracted Covid while in the hospital and suffered cardiac arrest which led to him being on life support. Due to the pandemic I could not physically be there. Hospital would not allow visitors. Tears me up everyday, the guilt. But I know his spiritual body is floating and in no more pain. 
I pray you lean on the Lord for comfort during this time. He is all we have. 
 

much love

[Traz]

Dear Kel,

Losing your Mom is one of the most traumatic events in someone's life. When you have serious mental health conditions, this can feel almost unsurvivable. But you will survive because you have come this far and are reaching out for help. 

Do you have a health care provider for your diagnoses or just a GP who prescribes your meds? We have someone in our family who was wrongly diagnosed with both Borderline and BiPolar. Our relative decided to go for trauma based therapy for PTSD and is now on the road to recovery. Most of their issues stemmed from past trauma. I'm not saying you were wrongly diagnosed at all, but it does help when you have the right one and the right therapy. 

I would really suggest finding a professional with a lot of experience in those disorders as well as grief counselling. Also I think there are many support groups out there for Bpd that may help. Keep reaching out, dont be afraid to feel the grief, its intense but it is how we cope and move forward. 

I'm thinking of you and sending good thoughts. Xo

 

[TearsX2]

Hi Kel,

I can totally sympathize with what you are going through. Having to cope with grief on top of having mental health issues is so hard. I’m glad that you reached out, I’m feeling a lot right now, literally being swallowed by my sadness. How are you feeling today?