Grief… Heartbreak or Cavity?

[Shaniqua]

The only way I can describe losing my mother is that my heart shattered like glass. Some days it feels like a cavity in which I try to ignore the sadness. Then it hits me hard and lasts for what seems to feel like forever, just like a toothache. I lost my mother to cancer in 2019. Her cancer diagnosis came swift and so did her death. Seeing her brain dead in the hospital for a week before her body gave up, also haunts me. Every day I try to take it easy.. I try to push thoughts of my mother out my head. Then I feel guilty for doing that to her and her memories. I guess everyone feels this way about their mothers ,but mine was truly one of a kind, such a beautiful person. She was my Heart. And I guess she still is. 

[reader]

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. I know many of us feel the same way about the loss of our parents. I think it is normal and natural to have a bit of sadness with us for the rest of our lives. 

I think our parents would understand and encourage us to try and move forward the best we can. 

Please know we are with you

[ADM925]

4 hours ago, Shaniqua said:

The only way I can describe losing my mother is that my heart shattered like glass.

I thought the very same thing recently.  On 7/17/21 I lost my Beloved Mother, who was my sole companion and refuge and the center of my life and world.  Family and friends try to help but we are not close.  They tell me that this is life and the way of the world and that she's not suffering anymore; I understand it rationally but it doesn't curb the extreme heartbreak or the panic of separation at all.  I go back alone in terror to the empty house wondering how I am going to stay there and survive without her for the rest of my life when every day feels like an eternity of agony which only Mom could relieve.  If anyone has read my posts they know I repeat myself but that is how bad it is and it only changes for the worse.     

4 hours ago, Shaniqua said:

Seeing her brain dead in the hospital for a week before her body gave up, also haunts me.

That is a horror beyond words.  I am tormented as well by all the painful details of Mom's 8 1/2 month ordeal, and sleep is nearly impossible now.  I wish you all the best in this terrible struggle..        

[Lost now]

So sorry for your loss.

I lost my mom three weeks ago. She was so young and had no health issues .

I am angry, devastated, upset, going crazy.

My mom is my everything, my world, my universe, she is my heartbeat and the sunshine of my life. She has never given up on me. I was always a trouble maker but she never gave up and loved me immensely. I am 31 now but she still considered me small kid. I am so lost, I cry everyday and my head hurts so bad. I don't want to eat or drink. I in fact want the death to come naturally to me but I know me and my sister have our dad to look after. He is broken and he needs us so I have to be strong for him.

Moms are so special. Their love is unconditional. 

Mumma, please stay with me forever and when I die, please come to get me.

 

Take care everyone. It's impossible to stay strong but try regain your strength for the other members of your family and also for your mom because she gave birth to you and she wants you to live and make her proud!

 

[Ksbe]

I so relate to how you describe it. The hole or empty space can just feel so unbearable at times. I sometimes describe the loss of my mom like the loss of my gravity. She helped Center me, and now I often feel just floating in space sometimes..without my anchor. It hurts