I still miss us.

[J5.]

I'm sitting writing this not even sure if I'm doing this right. I'm in a rehab been her 40 something days . The loss of you tore me apart I didn't realize what a best friend I had the n you. I remember us laughing at movies together. I'm so glad you didn't die alone in those walls at the hospital and made it home even if for just one hour I got to hold your hand kiss your hair tell you I love you that you be okay then I saw the life leave your eyes with my very ownm it changed me for the worse I began to hate the world work is was my only refuge. But I take gratitude your not at home with Carine and her husband. I miss you.. I miss yiy

[reader]

Thank you for sharing J5.

 

[ADM925]

On 2/19/2022 at 5:27 PM, J5. said:

I'm so glad you didn't die alone in those walls at the hospital and made it home even if for just one hour I got to hold your hand kiss your hair tell you I love you that you be okay then I saw the life leave your eyes with my very own it changed me for the worse I began to hate the world

To J5.,

I can feel the agony of your heartbreak that no words can measure.  The hospital told me again and again that my Beloved Mother had only days or hours left but she pulled through and came home.  Then she left me when I was caring for her and my life also ended at that moment.  My worst horror since 5 years old and it never stops replaying.  Mom was my best friend sole companion and refuge and only source of love, joy, and peace.  Without her this world is a nightmare that is the same as Hell itself and it is unbearable to live in hell anymore, time makes it worse each hour. 

On 2/19/2022 at 5:27 PM, J5. said:

The loss of you tore me apart

People don't understand, only some of the ones here do.  The others tell me to accept it but it is not possible or recoverable after my whole life with Mom.