Dealing with a difficult boss

[Elizabeth711]

I am having a lot of trouble with my boss. I trained her and I was in a position above her. We did not always get along but I tried always do my best to be nice to her and fair. Recently our GM left and she got promoted above me to be the new GM. That  alone was difficult as I had been told I was in line for the job and I had a couple of days off and came back and she was promoted. So I am trying to make the best of things but I am looking for a new job. But she gets really snotty to me  a lot. She  has very bad listening skills so she tends to only hear part of what anyone says so she misunderstands a lot and gets angry very easily. When I contact about things that need to be cleared by a GM she is upset that I contacted her. This all further complicated by the fact that she hired a good friend of hers to work and it looks like that friend is taking money. That friend has also not shown up for work and is causing a lot of issues. So I am just trying to stay above the issues and to do a good job but it is hard. So I could use any advice on how to get along with her. Thanks in advance!

[Luminescense]

I'm sorry to hear that your job treated you terribly like that. Unfortunately, it seems so common in jobs today to be the one that deserves that promotion 100% only to get thrown down the mountain while the boss's friend or someone that they personally prefer better gets promoted. I don't blame you at all for looking for a new job - sometimes it's best if you're in a company that clearly doesn't recognize your worth.

If you've been nice and tried to remain professional then that's the best thing you can possibly do to get along. Taking deep breaths or excusing yourself from the room to avoid saying something you might regret is another useful tactic in the office, but it sounds like you've tried hard and continue to. I'm not sure what else you can do as you can't change the personality traits of your new boss and if she continues to be be rude and have poor listening skills then that's what it'll be unless she decides to change.

I hope that you are able to continue successfully in this job and be able to fine a new, better job.

[Elizabeth711]

Thanks for you reply. It helps to get some support. I will just keep trying to do my and find something new.

[reader]

Dear Elizabeth,

I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this situation at work. It's so unfair. I know many women in similar situations. You're doing the right thing by looking for another job. I also found this article that I hope will be helpful.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2019/02/27/5-ways-to-stay-mentally-strong-when-youre-dealing-with-a-toxic-co-worker/?sh=3832d4bc7022

[MrX]

I hope you are still around...

I actually left my job and moved to another state close by and I lucked out.. It WAS worth it.. Nerve racking? Yes.. But way better than taking the harassment and discrimination of where I was working at.  I had one person in HR that did not help me out with an issue at work, took sides protected management and truly insulted and disrespected me. I did not want a long trial and be out of work.. But I did win a small labor settlement for harassment and discrimination. Trust me, that YOU are worth more than the company that does not care about you.. I've learned that well over the past 10 years that all companies are the same, they protect their upper management and the company and that's it. It's good to move on to another company IF you can. The old days of working for one company and then retiring from that same company is long gone....  Good Luck to you, and please know that you ARE NOT alone, I just hope you find something really good that give you the peace you deserve. One last thing that I can that helped me, is forgive those people that are treating you badly so you can move on and grow, and get on with your own life. Remember also, you are a way better person, then they are.

[reader]

Thank you for sharing Mr.X. We all need the encouragement that things do get better.

[Elizabeth711]

Thanks for all the support. Things have gotten more complicated as I found out my boss and one of the higher ups is having a flirtation. He is giving her gifts and they are flirting a lot. Most everyone working here has seen this and it is not helping matters at all. I am still looking for a job but as I am older it is bit hard. I just want to get out.

[MrX]

@Elizabeth711  I understand 100%. Many companies out there only maintain ethics and reporting type of programs within their organizations via Human Resources (HR) to protect the company and management not the employee. Favoritism and other inappropriate behaviors like fraternization between low and upper management is dangerous when lower management is not being appropriate to employees at the the local level. I can relate to your situation as I've seen many things like that over the years and worse. It's better and easier for you, to eventually find another job than try to loop in a labor lawyer as it is a lot of taking off work to go to court hearings as well as being in a awkward position at work with your management  and employees in question as well. And getting a labor lawyer if you quit your job... Unless you have a lot of money saved up for your own living expenses, then you dealing with all of that without a job and not getting paid.

I also know how stressful it can be trying to secure another job when you get older. One thing that I suggest you constantly do, is look on jobs sites like Monster dot com and others out there like Indeed.... ect. Another thing you can look for, that MAY be something.. Is looking at short term contracted jobs if that fits your work areas / skillsets. For my lines of work, there is a lot of temp job contracts out there, which still would not help in the long run if I needed a job for the long term... But if I REALLY needed a job for the short term, I could go for one of those... again if needed. That may be an option to think about for you.

One last thing that I can give you, that helped me out a lot.. Is either on your computer or a piece of paper write down what you are looking for in a new job and then then search your local area for jobs online. Write down what you find. Also take into consideration if it is feasible to work like in another state... How about remote work from home is something else that is way more popular now because of COVID. Is there another other job roles that you may fit in to? I find that if I write it all down, I have some sort of "plan" that i can go back to and see also what is working for me and what it not. Good Luck to You.

[Elizabeth711]

Thanks for all the support and ideas. I am still looking for another job. Also thanks for being a place I can vent. Just yesterday I came in and faced a long list of things that I did wrong from this boss. She said I had not done work I had done, blamed me for others errors, etc. I explained and dealt with her the best I could. I am trying to keep doing the best work and I hope until I find another job that the upper management will not buy into her story that I am bad at my job. It is so exhausting putting up with her.

[MrX]

@Elizabeth711  You are Welcome. I really hope you find another job. No one deserves harassment.