There is no hope left

[Lost now]

It's been two weeks my mumma passed away unexpectedly. She was only 58 and had no health problems. Cardiac arrest took her from me. I'm so lost without her. I haven't left my bed. I don't want to eat or drink. My mumma is my everything. I can't live without her. I know I was her everything. She cared so much for me. Even when I didn't respond for 5 minutes to her texts, she would get worried. She was so giving, she took care of everyone in our family. I don't know how to move forward. I don't know how to be strong. My dad is heartbroken. He is India and I'm I'm the US. I want my mom back. Or I want God to take me to her. I don't know how am I going to live without her. 

[Sid2021]

Sorry for your loss.

I may be able to relate it. I lost my dad in Dec 2021 unexpectedly because of sudden cardiac arrest in India. I was unable to meet him in person for past 2 yrs as did not travel to India. I used to talk to my parents every day.

I had plans to meet him this summer. Now that's just a plan.

Many ppl suggest time heals but it seems for me nothing moves or changes. Sudden moments of emptiness and tears rolling down is a routine. The thought of things which could have been done to avoid his loss keep doing rounds in my head.

The one thing that helped me is to keep myself occupied throughout the day till dead tired and just crash.

Things will never be normal again as I lost a part of self.  But as many people have mentioned you will learn to live with it. Hope it helps.

 

 

[Lost now]

2 hours ago, Sid2021 said:

Sorry for your loss.

I may be able to relate it. I lost my dad in Dec 2021 unexpectedly because of sudden cardiac arrest in India. I was unable to meet him in person for past 2 yrs as did not travel to India. I used to talk to my parents every day.

I had plans to meet him this summer. Now that's just a plan.

Many ppl suggest time heals but it seems for me nothing moves or changes. Sudden moments of emptiness and tears rolling down is a routine. The thought of things which could have been done to avoid his loss keep doing rounds in my head.

The one thing that helped me is to keep myself occupied throughout the day till dead tired and just crash.

Things will never be normal again as I lost a part of self.  But as many people have mentioned you will learn to live with it. Hope it helps.

 

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel the guilt of doing anything that brings me joy. I would prefer dying but if that's not the option then I want to live a miserable life. 

[peachglitter]

Hello Lost now,

Last month, I lost my mom to cardiac arrest, too. It sounds like you were very close to your mom. That resonated with me as I could relate to her worrying if you didn't text back quickly. My mom would do the same thing. Emotionally, I am feeling how you expressed, like there is no hope and I'd rather just be with her. I don't know what to say to ease the pain as there is nothing that really can. I just want you to know that there are people who understand. That is the beauty of this forum. I am thinking of you.

[Lost now]

2 hours ago, peachglitter said:

Hello Lost now,

Last month, I lost my mom to cardiac arrest, too. It sounds like you were very close to your mom. That resonated with me as I could relate to her worrying if you didn't text back quickly. My mom would do the same thing. Emotionally, I am feeling how you expressed, like there is no hope and I'd rather just be with her. I don't know what to say to ease the pain as there is nothing that really can. I just want you to know that there are people who understand. That is the beauty of this forum. I am thinking of you.than

Thanks for reaching out. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm spending most of my days reading posts on this forum and another. It hurts me to know that I will never see her ever. I'm so lost without my mom. 

I don't know how it happened. One moment she is here and another gone. Just like that. I don't know how I will live a long life (if I'm unfortunate) without her.

[DebbieJoysDaughter]

My momma’s gone too. Sudden and unexpected death at 60 in October 2021. I miss her so much. Some days are better than others. Today’s been tough. ❤️

[Lost now]

2 hours ago, DebbieJoysDaughter said:

My momma’s gone too. Sudden and unexpected death at 60 in October 2021. I miss her so much. Some days are better than others. Today’s been tough. ❤️

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you never expected that to happen. My mom was the fittest in our family. Life is so unfair and bad.

[DebbieJoysDaughter]

16 minutes ago, Lost now said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you never expected that to happen. My mom was the fittest in our family. Life is so unfair and bad.

Yeah, I never saw it coming. My mom wasn’t fit but she wasn’t sick either. It was just so…out of nowhere. Even though I miss her more than words can say, I still have hope that I will be happy again. The only things that have kept me alive these past 4 months are my dad and my kitten. I swear my kitten is a guardian angel sent by my mom. He was born a few days after my mom passed and he is my reason for living. He just grabs my face in his little paws and licks me for as long as I’ll let him. I can’t stay sad for long when he does that, especially because it starts tickling after a while. I’m so grateful for him. Do you have any pets or family/friends that you’ve been able to lean on?

Here’s some serotonin for you. My little guy, Archer. 

[Lost now]

20 hours ago, DebbieJoysDaughter said:

Yeah, I never saw it coming. My mom wasn’t fit but she wasn’t sick either. It was just so…out of nowhere. Even though I miss her more than words can say, I still have hope that I will be happy again. The only things that have kept me alive these past 4 months are my dad and my kitten. I swear my kitten is a guardian angel sent by my mom. He was born a few days after my mom passed and he is my reason for living. He just grabs my face in his little paws and licks me for as long as I’ll let him. I can’t stay sad for long when he does that, especially because it starts tickling after a while. I’m so grateful for him. Do you have any pets or family/friends that you’ve been able to lean on?

Here’s some serotonin for you. My little guy, Archer. 

He is adorable and I like how he is cuddling you. I think he can sense you are sad and trying to help. Such a cuttle little kitten. Thanks for sharing the picture! Made me feel better.

Yes, I have small dogs who make me feel better. They are the reason I'm still here. Animals are the best. They love you unconditionally. I can't imagine going through something like this without a furry friend in my lap. I have attached their pictures!

1 minute ago, Lost now said:

He is adorable and I like how he is cuddling you. I think he can sense you are sad and trying to help. Such a cuttle little kitten. Thanks for sharing the picture! Made me feel better.

Yes, I have small dogs who make me feel better. They are the reason I'm still here. Animals are the best. They love you unconditionally. I can't imagine going through something like this without a furry friend in my lap. I have attached their pictures!

Apart from them I talk to my dad everyday. He will be visiting me next month and will stay with me for a few months.