Mothers death visiting home

[AlanMichael]

My mother passed. And I’m having trouble visiting her home. I was raised there and still visited frequently. I visited often when I moved back in town. My dad is still there and I want to visit him often since it’s just him there. I have a 4month old and me and my fiancé want to visit him alot but it’s so hard going there and my mother not being there….it’s so unreal such a weird feeling. Idk if I’m ready for that but I want to be there for him. She just passed on the 28th…she was my world.

[DebbieJoysDaughter]

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s still weird for me to go visit my dad at their house and mom’s been gone for 4 months. The weirdest thing…the pantry. It still has all the food she bought. The same type of stuff she would cook when I was a kid. Who would’ve thought I could be undone by a package of ramen noodles or a can of green beans. Probably 1 out of every 5 times I walk in there I start sobbing. 
 

I feel for you. Not sure that anything will make it easier or less weird. Hugs. 

[AlanMichael]

Yeah my mother had a place she would always sit. I would sit across from her and we would just talk. Now she isn’t across from me anymore when I sit there…..it’s a trigger for me. I don’t know why I sit there still in that room across from where she usually is. I don’t know if i expect some magical thing to happen but I just miss her

[DebbieJoysDaughter]

I’m sorry. So surreal to live in a world without the person who carried you into it. I get it. At my mom’s funeral, I 100% believed that if I cried hard enough that she would just wake up and everything would be okay. Talk about expecting some magical thing. 
 

The first month is really hard. I promise that it does get a little easier to cope with. It still sucks just as much as the first day that I found out. But it gets easier to cope. Something that has really helped me is building new positive memories in the house. We had her reception at the house and it was just filled with people who loved her. And we actually just had a little super bowl party. The house was filled with laughter and food. 

[ADM925]

5 hours ago, AlanMichael said:

I sit there still in that room across from where she usually is. I don’t know if i expect some magical thing to happen but I just miss her

I stay in her room at night and hope for a miracle, it used to help me sleep but no more.  Mornings are very bad, daylight + alone with memories = panic.  After 7 months 3 days people are tired of me but Mom was everything and it only gets worse.