Had senior moment

[Bill V]

Well last week I went to see my doctor She want to make sure I was doing ok and didn’t have any health issues due to my wife passing, we both went to the same doctor. Well after discussing my stress, anxiety and grieving she asked if I wanted to boost my anxiety meds up for awhile I thought that might be a good idea. Well she doubled it from 10 mg to 20 mg and it was way to much, I had brain fog, I was a bit dizzy and just felt overall like crap. So I told my doctor it was not going to work and I wanted to go back to my old dose and then just wean off the stuff all together if that was OK.  She said that was fine just go slow and make an appointment to see her in a few weeks. So I went back to my old dose for a few days and then I cut each pill in half and started to take half my dose. Well I was still feeling like crap head was foggy and I was so tired all I wanted to do was sleep. So I decided to go to bed early and see if a good nights sleep would help. I drank a cup of camomile tea and went to bed. The next morning I felt OK but before I took my pills something said check your pills, I have then in a each day holder. So the first pill I looked at was my anxiety pill and it was the 20mg one and I’m like what the hell?? So then I looked at the one I cut in half and it turned out to be my blood pressure pill not my 10mg anxiety pill. So I cut my blood pressure pill in half and was still taking the full higher  dose of my anxiety pill no wonder I was still feeling like crap.  Well today with my pills straightened out I felt great all day and didn’t even take a nap. The way I’m going I may be seeing my wife sooner than I think. 

[KayC]

I'm glad you discovered what happened before there was a real problem from it!  

[Hopeful me]

I too have mixed up some meds or forgotten to take them. I am seriously considering using my loves pillbox. So glad you caught on quickly. 

[foreverhis]

1 hour ago, Hopeful me said:

I too have mixed up some meds or forgotten to take them. I am seriously considering using my loves pillbox. So glad you caught on quickly. 

Yes, me too.  In fact, I went and bought myself a pill organizer that I fill once a week, always on the same day and at the same time.  My husband had one that wasn't a type I prefer, so I found a style that works for me.  And a good thing too because, just like you and Bill V, I forgot and/or mixed up pills a couple of times in the weeks right after John died.  Like I needed anything more messing with my mind and body!

I realized that I have to do all I can to structure, list, and organize because my already slightly compromised brain (auto-immune conditions with brain fog) was even foggier.  It's gotten better over the past 18 months, but I don't know when or if it will ever get all the way back to "before."

It's all part of figuring out how to move forward month by month and year by year.

[tnd]

On 2/12/2022 at 12:45 AM, Bill V said:

Well today with my pills straightened out I felt great all day and didn’t even take a nap. The way I’m going I may be seeing my wife sooner than I think. 

Bill V:   Glad you straightened out your pills. You mentioned drinking tea...you don't have a liquor cabinet do you? 

16 hours ago, KayC said:

I'm glad you discovered what happened before there was a real problem from it!  

KayC:  ...and able to dial 911! 

[Bill V]

11 hours ago, Hopeful me said:

I too have mixed up some meds or forgotten to take them. I am seriously considering using my loves pillbox. So glad you caught on quickly. 

When my wife passed that morning they paramedics or sheriff took all my wife’s pills off the dresser and took the pillbox too, I had just bought the pillbox. Plus they never said a thing to me about taking them. 

[KayC]

16 hours ago, foreverhis said:

I don't know when or if it will ever get all the way back to "before."

Speaking for myself, it only did to a point, but it's not the same as "before loss" I know, I was not the same perfect capable employee that I once was, my brain just does not work the same.  One of the main reasons I gave up the Treasurer job I had a year ago.  I was always perfect as an employee, I can't be that again.  It's like I had brain trauma and it only recovered to 90% capacity.

18 hours ago, Hopeful me said:

I too have mixed up some meds or forgotten to take them. I am seriously considering using my loves pillbox. So glad you caught on quickly. 

I am very sorry for your loss and wish none of us had cause to be here, but I do want to welcome you here...I hope you'll continue to come here to read/post, it helps to know you're not alone and someone gets it and understands. 
 

This is not a one-size-fits-all, what strikes us one day will be different a few months/years from now, so please save/print this for reference!

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of its own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
• Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs))) Praying for you today.