Can't live without my mom

[Lost now]

My mom passed away unexpectedly by cardiac arrest. She was only 58 and had no health issues. She was so fit. I am unable to cope with this loss as she is my support system, my guide, my everything. I am only 31 and I feel it's so unfair to lose a parent this early in life. I can't live without my mom but I have to take care of my dad. My sister who is 6 years older to me is helping me cope but it seems impossible. Sometimes I want to end my life but I know that's not an option. I can't do that to my dad. I haven't left my bed ever since. I eat and drink only when my sister forces me too. I miss my mumma. I want her back. This pain is unbearable. I don't know how long I can endure it.

[AlanMichael]

My mother passed on the 28th of January of this year. I feel completely lost as well. My mom was everything to me. My best friend.  She just got to meet my 4 month old only a handful of times since I moved back in state. I’ve had negative thoughts but I know my mom would not want me to do anything of the sorts to myself nor does your mom. My mom wanted me to have a good life and to make sure I took care of my family. You have to keep moving forward. It’s never going to be easy for us. But we will get through it. You are a extension of her just like I am of my mom. It’s our duty to remain on the earth until it’s our time to leave to continue the life of our parents. We are apart of them. As they are apart of us.

[AlanMichael]

I also feel it was unfair. My mom was 62. She has had health issues but we were getting through them. Her death was a result of brain swelling from a bacteria and was unrelated to the cancer she was battling the past 7 years. She was admitted to the hospital on the 22nd she was speaking etc altered speech but it was still her. After that she declined rapidly and passed 6 days later. Most devastating experience ever. However she believed death isn’t the end and that we go somewhere after. She was never scared of death and I find comfort in that

[Lost now]

37 minutes ago, AlanMichael said:

My mother passed on the 28th of January of this year. I feel completely lost as well. My mom was everything to me. My best friend.  She just got to meet my 4 month old only a handful of times since I moved back in state. I’ve had negative thoughts but I know my mom would not want me to do anything of the sorts to myself nor does your mom. My mom wanted me to have a good life and to make sure I took care of my family. You have to keep moving forward. It’s never going to be easy for us. But we will get through it. You are a extension of her just like I am of my mom. It’s our duty to remain on the earth until it’s our time to leave to continue the life of our parents. We are apart of them. As they are apart of us.

I am so sorry for your loss. You are right I am her extension and I can't harm that body which is made up of her cells. I am just lost, angry, confused, scared. I have never felt this much pain. I'm crying so much. It feels like my head is going to explode. I don't know how I will live without her. My day started with her and ended talking to her. It seems impossible. I went for my first grief counseling session. It helped a little but not a lot. I hope there is afterlife and one day we will reunite with our mothers.