Losing so much in a year.

[jall]

I am sorry, to start another thread. I have been dealing with so much and I feel like it is only getting harder to take a step. I am ready to give up. Two years ago I lost my best friend, who was like a father figure to me. He was the same age as my mother. Then We lost my wifes uuncle, then her grandmother. and then a month later my mom fell. They took her to the hospital and found out she had stage four cancer. I could not go the hospital because of COVID. They took her to a rehad, and less than a month of falling she died from sepsis. The last time I talked to her was on her deathbed through a phone where I told her to go home and not worry about me. That was January 19, 2021. I never told her that my job of 21 years, I was losing. The dealership I worked for closed their doors. My work family was scattered in February. Less than 8 months later my step-father remarried. Which about killed me. I was told how selfish I was and I was made to feel that I caused my mother all her pain. I sucked it up and went to the wedding because he asked me too and I gave the bride away. The pastor of the church was, I thought my best friend. When I complained he agreed it was too soon and echoed my grief and concerns. Then i find out it was him who told them to get married immediatly. I left the church because of this. IT did not help that his wife told me Mom had visted her and told her it was okay. It was all I could do to stand there. I have no idea, what all I have lost because of this or how this effects moms stuff and the property. I figure I lost it also. Then my step-daughter who is living with her dad, all of a sudden made alligations against me of abuse not to her, but her younger sister,. She then made alligations of sexual assault on another man who once was with my wife. The investigation did not go anywhere, and we were cleared of any wrong doing. I hurt, I cannot get over that mom is gone. I been going to counseling. I have lost it a number of times. I am at my wits end and I need help. 

[Lost now]

So sorry for your loss. This is heartbreaking. Stay strong. I'm saying it but I myself can't do it. I miss my mom and every second is difficult.