Loss of 3 Parents

[LM25]

1) My biological father never wanted me. My mom raised me. 
2). My stepdad adopted me as his own, took his own life in May 2020.

3). My mom and I were so close. Then, after my dad passed she told me I ruined about 2/3 of her life. Now is an awesome grandma, wants nothing to do with me. 
 

It hurts to know I had three people enter my life who chose to go away. I’m not a perfect kid, I know…Far from but, why can’t one parent love me?

[reader]

Dear LM25,

Everyone deserves to be loved and cared for. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this pain and sorrow. What your mom said was horrible. I wonder if she was not thinking straight after the loss of your stepdad. And didn’t realize what she was saying out loud and how hurtful it was.

I know grief affects us all differently. It’s a very rough time and sometimes we’re not thinking straight or fully aware of how our words or actions are coming across

I hope your mother is sorry and will reach out to you soon to apologize. 

Please remember you are not alone. And there are a lot of supports in the community and through church. I hope trusted friends and family members are also supporting you.

[LM25]

Thank you,  in honesty she has. I just know the true feelings now. I just can’t for the life of me understand why people choose to have kids when they don’t want them for the good and bad. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I know that I’ll always be there for my kid and when she’s older be her best friend. I’m just sad that I’ve been taught to be worthless. It’s made it hard for me to a good mom. I just pray I never do what my parents did. 

[reader]

Dear LM25,

I hear you and I feel the same way too. With my own mom, I realized she too did not get the unconditional love and support she deserved from her mom. And this happened with my grandmother too. But like you, I am determined to break the cycle. And I want to do better. I'm constantly reading and trying to learn to communicate better.

Be kind to yourself. Please know you are someone worthy of love and respect and kindness. You are worthy of so much more no matter what your mom says.

Thinking of you.

 

[Traz]

Dear LM25,

What a traumatic thing to experience, having your own mother reject and blame you for ruining 2/3 of her life. Is she a narcissist? I just can't fathom the damage some parents inflict on their own kids. 

I am so sorry for your pain and I hope you can reach out for support through counselling or friends/other family.