I’m in a anger phase

[Bill V]

For the most part I’m a easy going guy with very little anger in my lift. But the way the medical field handled my wife was terrible there were to many doctors telling us different things. One would tell us something and if we said another doctor said the opposite thing them we would have to hear how he didn’t know what he was talking about and if they were from different hospitals then it got even worse, so unprofessional. Because we were dealing with 2 different hospital systems who hated each other and so many different doctors were involved we were in a state of confusion. Thankfully our personal doctor stepped in and started coordinating and made them all go through her, then things got better. 
 

So this whole ordeal has been simmering in my mind and today when I got a call from a hospital in another city 1 hour away trying to schedule an appointment for me with a specialist there I snapped. I told the poor lady I’m not driving 1 hour to go to a stupid appointment with a specialist when we have the same specialist right here in the city I live in. I then said if they can’t get me into a specialist here then then I don’t need to to go at all, I’m sick of the whole medical system around here. She apologized and said she would send back the request to my doctor. Well after hanging up I felt bad, it wasn’t her fault, so I sent a message to my doctor requesting a appointment here local. The good thing was my doctor has sent 2 request to the same hospital in the other city and that same lady called again to make an appointment I said I had just talked to them and she said oh sorry I see they sent in 2 requests and she was the one I talked to, so I had the opportunity to apologize to her and tell her what was going on, she was so gracious kept reassuring me it was OK she understood. But I still feel bad about snapping at her it’s not something I do to people.    
 

I still have a lot of anger against the medical system and want to blame them for my wife’s death. I hope this doesn’t last to long. 

[tnd]

2 hours ago, Bill V said:

I still have a lot of anger against the medical system and want to blame them for my wife’s death. I hope this doesn’t last to long. 

Bill V:   I'm very sorry for your loss and also sorry you are going through this. A lot of us on here have experienced the same anger. I went through it myself and it made communicating with my husband's family very difficult (and they are difficult enough as it is). The anger will ease up but for me, it keeps coming back every so often. Since it does nothing for me and in fact is something I consider to be negative, I try to just put it out of my mind. I don't deny the anger, I just simply do not let it be a priority.

Just in general, I do not want to have anger, hatred or bitterness in my heart. These days I need all the positive thoughts I can fill up on. So while I acknowledge my anger, I tell myself that I do not have the time nor the energy to let it be another issue that I've got to sort through and deal with. I tell myself that "no good would come from it".  

[KayC]

Bill, it's sure understandable.