Oldest of 7 sib, no celebration of life happened

[Lieolani]

I lost my mom in Sept 27, 2021 to stage 4 lung and brain cancer. She was sent to hospital with a headache, diagnosed in middle August and died a month later.  I am the oldest of 7 living and none of the children are getting along and no celebration of life has taken place because nobody wants to be in the same room with the other.  It hurts me to see others loss and have closure with a ceremony, celebration or memorial.    I tried to begin the planning, but it just isn’t happening.   One sib took all of mom’s belongings to her apartment unexpectedly. Has anyone else had this happened to them?    It is now 2022, I am trying to make peace with all of this and doing my own celebration of life through laying of mom’s  ashes in Maui, when I celebrate her bday in August camping and laying ashes in river.  

[Traz]

Hi Lieolani,

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mom. From her diagnosis to her death was so fast, it must have been very hard to come to terms with. 

And all the stuff going on with your siblings makes it even harder. 

It would be easy to wish for everyone just to get along, but families are more complex than that. I didn't end up going to my sister's house for my mom's reception or celebration of life because i was so angry with her. I took care of my mom while she was sick and my sister was off doing her own thing. She made sure to be there when we went through our mom's jewelry though, didnt she? 

It's unfortunate, but stuff like this happens all the time. You may be better off emotionally having a beautiful little ceremony for your mom on your own. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I hope one day there will be peace in your family. Xo