My son

[JenP]

I'm not sure if this is how this works, but here it goes. My Son Nathan was 16 when he was killed. I made it to the scene where he was still alive and passed away during surgery at the hospital. When I was 16 my mom was killed infont of me, and the man plea bargained and was released the next day. My sons murderer  is currently in jail and we're still waiting for trial. It's been 3 yrs that my son has been gone, but it still feels like yesterday. His siblings struggle with his loss and I feel like I can't help them because I can't control my emotions I can't stop crying to help them especially his little sister. My little girl. I  can't make myself get out of my bedroom but to go to work or to the grocery store and I don't even like to go to the store no more. I noticed that I don't feel safe no more and I am always scared something is going to happen. I don't know how to make those feelings go away enough for me to at least give my little girl more love that I know she deserves. I feel like giving up lots of times and thinking maybe they will be ok because they will know I'm not suffering here no more. I  just needed to talk and know if there is things that some of you do to get you motivated to get up for your other children. 

[reader]

Dear Jen,

I am very sorry for the pain and sorrow you are feeling and for your whole family. It's very hard. I found this article that I hope will be of some comfort and help.

https://healgrief.org/grieving-the-death-of-a-child/

https://www.compassionatefriends.org/grief/

[Wanda linder]

On 1/30/2022 at 10:13 PM, reader said:

Dear Jen,

I am very sorry for the pain and sorrow you are feeling and for your whole family. It's very hard. I found this article that I hope will be of some comfort and help.

https://healgrief.org/grieving-the-death-of-a-child/

https://www.compassionatefriends.org/grief/

Dear jen,so sorry for your loss. I too lost my son from a neighbor who just snapped and shot 3 people on our street.never saw it coming,still don't know why he chose those 3 people. The other 2 survived,but my loving,kind,son did not. I tried to block him,but it didn't work. He left behind 2 children,12 and 13,that I am now raising. So I do understand how hard it is trying to be there for the children,and get through your grief as well.its not easy at all. But we have to keep pushing forward as best we can. I'm here if you need to talk. You are in my prayers.

[Judith fay]

Dear Jen,

So sorry for your loss .  I lost my sweet Christina who also left behind 2 boys 14 and 6 I am now raising them. It is a daily struggle for me. . I want to give you  advice while taking care of your Grandbabies don't  forget to take care of yourself  also. I was told  to take one day at a time. For me I am struggling alot with the why. My daughter died of a Fentanyl  overdose. I have bad dreams where she is telling me Mom it's  not over yet keep digging into my death. This dream is evey night. My daughter had been clean 5 years. I have alot of guilt because I dont know why she did this. She had  just taken a drug test and passed it for her job. I have lost my faith in god because he has take 2 daughters now I really feel lost most day but finding this site is helping me  know i am not alone. People understand here what I am going through.

Just take it day by day. Prayers and huggs  for you and your family

Devastated  Mom of Christina