birthday without my son

[Tweetymm125@aol.com]

I just had a birthday and I miss my son so much I miss the fact he will never be a dad and he will never give me a grandchild and I miss all the Holidays we will never share It just sucks My daughter wears a Miami Dolphins shirt even though they suck cause Rob loved them Well here's a toast to my son Rob Keep the Grey goose cold till we meet again on a nice fluffy cloud Forever ever and ever You live in my heart were you will remain forever young may God be with each and everyone of us on this site on this sad journey and gives us each a tiny bit of piece

By the way Has anyone been to a Compassionat Friends support group

Robs mom

[mysonrich]

hello Rob's Mom, I am sorry for the reason that you have found your way to this site, the death of your son Rob. there are many compassionate people, moms and dads, that post to Loss of an Adult Child. No matter your childs age, we post there 24/7. if you would like to write about your son, your heartache and grief, happy and sad memories,please join us there. Birthdays are especially hard. Once a day of joy,now a day of sadness. As hard as it is to believe, there will be a time when your memories will be a small smile to your lips. I wish a Happy Birthday to Rob and a sad greeting to you.

[designer2]

Hi Rob's mom. This is my first post of any kind on this site. I've been coming here to read all the posts to try and ease my pain. It is sadly comforting to read the outpouring of so many broken hearts like mine. I have been content to be silent until now. I, too just celebrated a birthday on Oct. 15th, the first since my 27 yr. old only child died in March. My Dylan was my whole world. I am a single mother and am so scared of what will happen to me now. Like you, thoughts of what will never be, stalk my mind constantly. My birthday was spent longing for him and arranging flowers at his graveside. I am considered by many to be very strong willed, but this is too much to bear. I am seeking help through my support group and grief counseling; they have helped some, but I am still so alone. I pray every day that God's loving care can reach me before I fade away. Perhaps, now that I have replied to you here, I can find strength enough to post Dylan's story and draw comfort from others on this journey. I am so sorry that we had to spend our birthdays in this way.

[Tweetymm125@aol.com]

I am so sorry that you had such a sad Birthday I still have my 24 year old daughter I notice your son died a day after my sons Birthday How did he die? My son died in an accidental drug overdose It is such a waste so full of life and so handsome I did see him about three months after he died on the ceiling at night A perfect photo of him in shadow form My daughter and I both saw him I have never experienced anyhthing like that What hurts me is that friends do not talk about him or ask how I am doing It makes me sad and lonely A friend of mine said I should take his picture down because it makes it worse She doesn,t have a freakin clue I have a huge picture of him in the living room He will live in my heart forever I do not know whar you believe but you will see him again one day As for my picture of Rob he will stay forever I also wear a locket with his picture in It I go to the grave and put Miami Dolphin Ballons and a Halloween Pumkin It just sucks MY health has went down and I lost my zest for life I feel I have to be here for my daughter Your son and my son would not want us to be unhappy Just take life one second at a time May God give us a tiny bit of piece and a purpose to go on Maybe we could talk to other parents to help them as we try to help ourselves God Bless You I am so sorry for your pain

Marty Robs Mom

[Jeff's Mom]

hello Rob's Mom, I am sorry for the reason that you have found your way to this site, the death of your son Rob. there are many compassionate people, moms and dads, that post to Loss of an Adult Child. No matter your childs age, we post there 24/7. if you would like to write about your son, your heartache and grief, happy and sad memories,please join us there. Birthdays are especially hard. Once a day of joy,now a day of sadness. As hard as it is to believe, there will be a time when your memories will be a small smile to your lips. I wish a Happy Birthday to Rob and a sad greeting to you.

I am not exactly new here either. I have read many posts over the last two years but hesitated to respond. It just hurt too much. My son was twenty-eight years old. He was such a great kid and had a very kind-hearted nature and loving manner about him, He was also a huge practical joker and filled our home with laughter and happiness. He was also a large fella. Football player build. Yet, he was mush in my hands. The night he died we ate dinner together and as usual he had us laughing until the tears rolled down our cheeks. He then went into his room to watch TV. Two hours later he was dead.

It was a matter of a few days before Christmas. I sat in shock as the paramedics tried in vain to revive him. They pushed him out in front of me zipped up in a body bag. It was surreal. It was hell. While we waited for the ambulance to come we tried in vain to perform CPR. He was gone. I feel it takes at least two years for the shock to even wear off after something like this happens. Will my life ever be the same? The answer is "no", never. But I will continue to live and I will be determined to keep going to honour his memory. It will never be the same. How can it? But everyone here is feeling the same...the only difference are the circumstances. Death sucks! It takes our loved ones from us and I feel so selfish because I want him back. I have not turned his room into a shrine..I have left his pics around the house. Why wouldn't I? I don't care how uncomfortable it makes people feel. He existed and he still does, but in another place. He was my son and I will carry him in my heart until I take my last breathe and see him again.

Last Christmas we put a bid in on a Xmas Tree being auctioned off for a charity. We won the bid. Rather then curling up in a ball and not celebrating Christmas we now put the tree up and refer to it as his tree. And I would like to think that the lights that we place on it are a reminder of a beautiful soul shining through. Nobody said life was easy, eh?