My Dad is gone

[MissDeez]

I don’t know how to process it. My Dad passed on Monday. He was sick for a long time. I’m the only child. Mom, me and the dog. I feel numb. I haven’t cried yet because i visualize him smiling with his parents and siblings. I know he’s happy now that he’s pain-free. Dad requested no funeral only cremation. My birthday is 12/26 & i don’t feel like celebrating….. How do i move on? What do i do?

Just here

[Jen H]

Hello so sorry to hear about your dad.  Your loss is still very fresh so yes it is completely normal to feel numb.  But don't think you can't let it out and cry your eyes out.  It actually can make you feel at least temporary better getting it out.  Emotions come and go and it can be  very draining and confusing.  I always had such a small family so lossing my mom and dad within two years of each other and both very sudden was such a traumatic shock for me especially only being in my early 30s.  My dad in 2008 and mom in 2010.  We think we will always have our parents around at least until we are old ourselves.  I don't know how old you are but it seems the younger we are the more devastated and shocking it is.   My life felt so scary and lonely knowing they were gone and never coming back.  Hopefully your mom is there for you and you two are helping each other through this grief.  I never had anyone to share my grief with and I needed it so desperately.  My love of my life and best friend however helped me through this tragedy.  Do you have a good friend in your life?  They probably would not understand exactly what you are going through but at least they can be around for you.  On Oct 3 the love of my life passed away from a five year battle of cancer so now I fell so alone so I started coming here to find other people who know what I'm going through.  All I have now is my disabled daughter, brother, and my two cats.  I try to cherish what I have left everyday but it's a battle sometimes to even get out of bed.  Just know that we have to continue to live and learn to live without the ones we have lost until that day comes for us to be with them again.  It seems impossible and unbearable at first but it will get easier over time.  How long I don't know?  I can't think of my future right now.   I just live day by day.  This site has helped me tremendously so continue to come here if you feel it is helping you.  We all understand.  

[reader]

Dear MissDeez,

I am so sorry for your loss. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Whatever you are feeling is okay. There is no rush to move on and I would keep taking it day by day for now. Always know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. If you need additional support, please don't be afraid to reach out. These websites might be helpful.

What's Your Grief

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

Please know we are with you. Thinking of you.