I just lost my older brother

[SunSister]

I just lost my wonderful beautiful funny big brother that I love so FUCKING much, to an MC accident today. The news were delivered to us a few hours ago and I responded with complete chock and disbelif, this cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot happen. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I supposed to do without you....?

He lives in another country and we live in different timezones and we found out a few hours after the people at his work found out. He had accidentally driven his motorcycle into a wall and didn't wear his fucking helmet. I am in chock. I don't know what to do. I feel empty, I feel like I can never feel happy or safe again. He's my only sibling, and me and my mother are his closest family. His closest friends just came over, we talked memories and about what kind of person he was, they cried. It was so nice to have them there, a part of you, they said they would help with anything if they could. He always wanted to collect everyone, make everyone feel safe. Bring people together. I was so damn proud for him to be my brother. He lived a very adventurous life, when we talked to his friends we could all agree that the thought of this happening had been crossing our minds. But it's all so surreal, and he's so far away. He loved life, he loved living, he really did. Right now I'm feeling so empty, but I just now my will to live will drop completely and that I will fumble in the dark for the next couple of years. My mother cries a little, but othervise she's mostly shut off, she loves her children so deeply, you could not understand. Right now she's outside. I feel sick to my stomach when I think about my mother, what can I do for her, I am afraid she will never recover from this. I love her so so much, I am so so so so so afraid she's never going to be happy again. I love her. My brother always said "I love you" after every call. He was sure to do that, we were aswell. I don't know how to live a life without you brother, I don't know. I don't know. I love you. 

I wanted to write, maybe talk, to someone who understands what this is like. It's.... There's no words. 

I just want you to know that I love you, so much, I'll always remember you and be proud of the brother I was lucky enough to spend the 19 years of my life with. /Little sister

[reader]

Dear SunSister,

I am so sorry for your devastating loss. Sending our deepest sympathies and condolences.

Please know we are here to listen.

Sending our thoughts and prayers to you and your mom during this very sad time.

[Aliya]

On 12/12/2021 at 11:47 PM, SunSister said:

I just lost my wonderful beautiful funny big brother that I love so FUCKING much, to an MC accident today. The news were delivered to us a few hours ago and I responded with complete chock and disbelif, this cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot happen. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I supposed to do without you....?

He lives in another country and we live in different timezones and we found out a few hours after the people at his work found out. He had accidentally driven his motorcycle into a wall and didn't wear his fucking helmet. I am in chock. I don't know what to do. I feel empty, I feel like I can never feel happy or safe again. He's my only sibling, and me and my mother are his closest family. His closest friends just came over, we talked memories and about what kind of person he was, they cried. It was so nice to have them there, a part of you, they said they would help with anything if they could. He always wanted to collect everyone, make everyone feel safe. Bring people together. I was so damn proud for him to be my brother. He lived a very adventurous life, when we talked to his friends we could all agree that the thought of this happening had been crossing our minds. But it's all so surreal, and he's so far away. He loved life, he loved living, he really did. Right now I'm feeling so empty, but I just now my will to live will drop completely and that I will fumble in the dark for the next couple of years. My mother cries a little, but othervise she's mostly shut off, she loves her children so deeply, you could not understand. Right now she's outside. I feel sick to my stomach when I think about my mother, what can I do for her, I am afraid she will never recover from this. I love her so so much, I am so so so so so afraid she's never going to be happy again. I love her. My brother always said "I love you" after every call. He was sure to do that, we were aswell. I don't know how to live a life without you brother, I don't know. I don't know. I love you. 

I wanted to write, maybe talk, to someone who understands what this is like. It's.... There's no words. 

I just want you to know that I love you, so much, I'll always remember you and be proud of the brother I was lucky enough to spend the 19 years of my life with. /Little sister

I just saw this message and the date it was written. Just few days after this was written, I lost my brother on december 16,2021 similarly to a motorcycle accident in another country. Every single thing you said here I can perfectly relate to and it just grieves me so to understand the same pain in losing an amazing human each in our lives. Somedays it does get easier but one tiny thought, memory, or anything could bring me crashing back to his loss still. Always remember you are not alone and he would want you to live a full life just like both our brothers loved adventures and life. Hold onto your faith. If you want to speak, you could always reach out <3