Dreading the holidays without my Mom and Dad

[Anne B.]

Dreading the holidays without my Mom and Dad.  I've made it through 3 Christmases without my Dad and 2 without my Mom.  It still hurts so much at times.  This was such a happy time of the year for our family and now it's very difficult because we lost them.  My parents were people who made everything special.  They cherished time with their children and grandchildren.  The holidays feel like such a chore.  Can't wait for January 2nd.  I miss them.  Thank you for listening.

[Wandering Soul]

Hello, Anne B. 

I'm grateful for your post and completely understand how you feel.  I'm in the same position... 3 Christmases without my Mom and 2 without my Dad.  The pain and sadness is still very real.  I don't know about you, but sometimes I find myself wishing my way back to childhood during these times when everything seemed so magical, safe and secure.  I know how difficult the holidays are without loved ones around to celebrate and I completely understand your desire to get to January 2nd.  Thinking of you during this difficult time.  You're not alone.  Thank you for your post.

[Anne B.]

Thank you so much for responding.  I know what you mean about wishing my back to when I was a child.  I find myself thinking so much about past years and it does help (my wish sometimes includes staying there).  We had so many happy times.  Sometimes the pain of losing them feels so recent.  It helps to know someone understands.

[Wandering Soul]

I completely understand.  Hold on to those happy times and precious memories.  They are priceless.  

I try to remind myself that my parents would not want me to miserable, but to live the best life I can and find peace.  (I know, easier said than done for sure.)  I'd venture to say that your parents would want the very same for you.  

The pain does feel so recent and just like you said, the holidays really seem to amplify it.  Do the best you can this holiday season.  Moments of sadness are bound to happen (I've cried several times this week!).  When they happen acknowledge them with someone who loves you and you trust.  In my case, it seems to help diffuse some of the sadness.  I hope that you're surrounded by a good support system.  It certainly can help.

One foot before the other, one day at a time.  Be gentle with yourself.