Recently lost my mum

[Emma Martin]

Hey,I’m 32 years old and the world I knew on the 4th November drastically changed,my mum had died of a short illness with cancer ..she didn’t have it long,only recently diagnosed in the summer,she had her operation and was waiting to receive radiotherapy so we thought all was well until she fell ill again.Turned out the cancer had spread to her lungs,she was only in hospital a week and then she sadly passed away,she was only 67..I just feel so lost and devastated,I myself struggle with depression basically all my life and I just don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. I feel an emptiness inside of me,what is a child to do without their mother..

If anyone has any advice I would be forever grateful,at this moment in time I’m not in a good place mentally..Thank you 

[Julen]

My mother died on June 9th, also at the age of 67. In my case, I try to maintain a routine. Work and being busy helps me keep going. At times, especially when I have free time, I have bad moments, but I think about what my mother would want for me and I try to move on. In short, the only thing I can recommend you is to keep busy. I don't know if it will work for you, but it's what works for me. All the best. 

[Emma Martin]

Thank you julen

[reader]

Dear Emma,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Our deepest sympathies and condolences. Please know you are not alone. I know I felt raw and hurt and alone after my dad passed. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve but I found these websites helpful. I also tried grief counselling, grief support group, trying to maintain a routine, arts and crafts, reading, and other activities. In the end it was time that made the biggest difference. My counsellor said that normally on average it takes about 18 months to feel better. It's different for everyone. I hope these websites will be helpful to you.

What's Your Grief

Grief Healing Blog

Grief in Common

Grief Share

Grief Recovery Method

Thinking of you.

[ESM]

So sorry for your loss. I can relate to how you thought all is going well, on the road to recovery and then the unimaginable happens. That's what happened with my mom. Today is exactly two weeks for me and the sense of loneliness and panic is no less. I try to loose myself in a TV show or a video on YouTube, but I can't. Making myself dinner is an ordeal since this was always a team effort with my Mom. Just the act of starting to cook dinner triggers the acute sense of her absence and I break down. There isn't a single moment I don't feel varying degrees of horror. I only hope it gets better with time, for me, for you, and everyone on this board. Try to be well.

[Reanna]

I also sorry for your loss. Your story is so similar to mine. I read a lot of quotes on grief that helps. I also go on YouTube and look at music videos for mums who passed away. I feel like some of the strongest people are the ones who cry and can dive deep into their sadness. Losing my mum has been extremely difficult. Today makes it 1 year and 3 months and yet It all feels so recent . Take it 1 day at a time. Celebrate the things she loved. Play the songs she loved, watch the movies she loved and go to the places she loved. Keep her memory alive do not be afraid to bring her up at family gatherings. You are braver than you think do not let anyone tell you that you need to be ‘strong’ 

[Daisy-Hazel]

Hi Emma, I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I went through something very similar. My mother suddenly had these terrible pains and was rushed to hospital. They found cancer in her liver and lungs, and many other places and she died 5 days later. She was 69. It was so sudden and traumatic. I was with her when she died. The doctor told me she would just get very sleepy and eventually sleep and not wake up but it wasn’t like that at all. I still see her dying in my head whenever someone dies on a TV show. Everyone else from my birth family has also passed away (brother and father) so I feel very alone. I’m in Australia so we don’t have thanksgiving, but I don’t know how I’ll cope with Christmas as it is also my mum’s birthday.