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Just Not Ready


letters2mary

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I am so sorry for you are having to deal with this. Thinking about giving up the family home is hard. It may seem like another loss in addition to your loved one. That is how it was for me. It was a physical manifestation of my mom and all that she was here on earth. It was my safe place to go where I was always welcome and safe. It was the place of family events and memories. It was a place my kids and I went for extended periods during the summer and that gave me a break from the stresses of day to day things at home. I didn't want to let it go. Others in the family did not want to keep it and wanted it sold quickly. I drew the short straw in deciding who was responsible for clearing out and figuring what to do with the contents. Other family members handled the paperwork aspect. It was at times agonizing and exhausting. It was emptied and sold in just under 6 months from the time of mom's death. If it is financially possible I would not recommend moving that quickly. It may work for some people but if it is hard letting it go a little more time to say good bye and doing it in your own time may be helpful. I had wanted to have one more night there with my kids and say good bye but it wasn't to be as it sold much more quickly than we all expected (I guess we should be grateful). One thing I did do which helped was take pictures of things before we started taking stuff out. That helped me. Honestly I have looked at the pictures just a couple of times but it is a comfort to know that they are there if I want them. I am sorry you are having to face that difficult part of the process. I am sure you will find your own way to say good bye if that is what you ultimately decide to do. Take care and go easy on yourself. I know not everyone understands the difficulty of a loss like this and all that entails but I and others do. Our journey may be somewhat different but there is common thread that runs through it. Post about how it goes if it is helpful. You are not alone.

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Neoshalovesu21

Hi,

I lost my father when i was 10 his name was Anthony William Scheu. And my father was like my best friend i loved him no matter what, and i regret not returning his calls and his text messages. and the truth is you don't know what u have until its gone

And i had to learn that the hard way obviously So if you are wondering he died of drug overdose you are missed don't worry.

Love Neosha :)

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Neosha, I am so sorry you lost your dad so early. I am sure it is hard not having him. As a parent I can tell you that your dad most likely understood that phone calls and texts don't always get returned by children. There was a lot of love between you two, hold on to that. The circumstances of his death do not make it any easier I am sure. In reading different sections of this board I have seen a lot of loss due to drugs. You are not alone in losing someone you love to a drug overdose. Do you have someone you can talk to about this? I hope so. If not, maybe your mom can help you find someone. There are support groups in some cities for young people who have lost loved ones. Please come back and share here anytime you want. I have found compassionate people who will listen and support you. Take care. ~Terra

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