September 2021

[Katkid]

Hello, 
My mom passed away in February and I am really struggling emotionally. I am finally looking online to try to find some support from people who have also lost their moms. I am not the best with technology, haha, but I was hoping there might be a group or a chat or something that is a bit more than just posting messages. Browsing through here a little bit, but I can’t seem to find more recent posts. Can anyone help or offer suggestions on how/ where to start? 
Thank you!

[silverkitties]

Hugs to you—This is a good place to start: many of us have done just that. It may take a while before people respond, but they will eventually.

I remember in one of my first posts,I wrote about the anniversary of my mom’s first stroke. People began to reply. Eventually, there were a few of us comforting one another on a daily basis.

[Katkid]

Thank you for your reply, silverkitties. I saw the email that someone had responded which felt good for two reasons: One, it meant that I posted correctly and it actually showed up! Haha! But Two, it meant someone could relate and cared. Hugs to you and reader. I am not sure how to send the little emoticon hugs back so I will just say it here and hope you both see it!

[sylviagsa]

Hi, my mom passed away from a sudden brain bleed last November. i was also looking for a group chat because i really feel like sharing feelings with people who have gone through the same thing would really help me. my friends have been very supportive but i don’t feel like any of them understand the daily pain that goes with loosing your mom.

i often get through the day very well, and sometimes i have weeks and months on end where i am truly happy. i miss her every day, but sometimes life is good enough to compensate. but sometimes i miss her so much i feel helpless and consumed with sadness. i am not very spiritual but the only thing that helps me in those moments is holding on to the thought i will see her one day - whether it is in heaven or in my dreams as i die one day. might seem morbid, but it personally helps me, imagining i will get the chance to talk to her again.

[silverkitties]

Katkid, that emoticon is difficult as all hell to use! It takes me several tries so don’t worry about it. 
I think the second worst thing about grieving is the isolation when others start drifting away. That’s how it felt for me—making me miss my mom all the more. 

[Katkid]

Sylviagsa, I am sorry for your loss as well. I can relate to you that some days or nights are better than others. Please let me know if you find a chat of any kind. I noticed that there is a chat option on this site, but no rooms? Then again, like I said I am not the most technology savvy, haha! 

[Katkid]

Silverkitties, sometimes I feel like people think it’s been so many months, why are you still randomly crying, or that I was fine and happy all last week, what’s different..

[silverkitties]

Katkid, never mind what they say. The stronger your bond, the longer it takes to grieve. The first year is arguably the most difficult.

Also,grief can come in waves. You may be feeling great when boom—it hits you out of nowhere. Stress can aggravate it too.

So don’t worry about how long it takes. It’s no one else’s business but your own. 

[Katkid]

Thank you, Silverkitties. Definitely having a lot of other stress also, so that doesn’t help. Now a lot of my hair is starting to fall out! I miss my mom’s encouragement and advice.

[silverkitties]

Me too—and it’s nearly 7 years!

[Katkid]

Yay, I got the hug emoji to work! Sending a hug to everyone who reads this, too.

[Kazuko]

Hi I lost my mom on April 10, 2021…. She was diagnosed with cancer April 2019 she came to my home and I took care of her she did not do very well on chemo but finally she went on keyTruda and immunotherapy drug which she did very well on and we thought she was doing good…. Little did we know that she had hepatitis C and her liver was being damaged she fell from a very small bench in my room and broke her hip and that’s all it took for the decline to start to happen many complications with hepatitis causing liver damage water retention pain etc.

it’s only been five months and I am in tears writing this to you but we all need to help each other it’s devastating to lose a parent.

she came on hospice April 6 I took care of her until she died on April 10 5:20 PM those few days were the most difficult time in my whole The images of her haunt me to this day but I try to think of the happy times that we had and the blessings that God gave us during the time she live with me we shared some good times together

i’m sorry that you are going through what you are feeling I find what helps me is I have a picture of my mother in the place where she used to sit every morning in her room and I talk to her in the mornings that I talk to her at night and sometimes during the day. 

I tell her about my day I tell her that I miss her I tell her I love her I talk about the memories we shared together and then I tell her mom I need to go now I have things to do but I’ll be back to talk to you this seems to help some. 

no matter what they’re always be those holes in our hearts but we must know that our parents would want us to Move on and be happy find joy in life and count our blessings. try not to think of the sad things I know it’s hard but try not to get stuck in that place visit it but then move or think of happy things keep busy I know that your parents are watching you and I hope that you enjoy your life as they would want you to because they loved you and still love you!!! 
 

I am still grieving I am still processing I’m still trying to figure things out but I do know that if we get stuck in the grief we will hurt ourselves mentally and physically and that’s not something that our parents would want us to do.  our health is very important to us I pray for you I pray for me that things will start to get better and the pain will become less and the happy memories will be stay in our minds more than the sad ones.

Big hug = god bless = take care 

[Katkid]

Hi Kazuko, thank you for the support and good ideas that you posted.
I was on a short break at work today when I took my phone, stepped outside, and didn’t dial anyone, but just pretended like I was on an actual call with my mom for a few min. I asked for her advice about my job and told her I missed her. I didn’t get too deep bc I didn’t want to break down at work. I haven’t done that with my phone before, but I am wondering if anyone has ever done that. My mom and I lived 3 hours from each other for the past few years and we talked on the phone a lot.