What should I do? Lost and confused

[GrievingDaughter2021]

My mother, my best friend, died 4 months ago. I was so close to her. I moved back from one country to another to care for her in her final months. We didn't know she was dying, only that she was sick and needed me. When she died suddenly it came as such a shock. I am grieving badly and now staying with my dad. My dad is healthy and very independent. He does not need caring for in the same way as my mother (and he is a very different personality - not the most polite or grateful). I now want to move 2+ hours away by car, but I feel such guilt at leaving him by himself. I am 31 and want to go somewhere I can settle down and start a family. I know if I don't go now, I'll never go. My husband also lives here with us and it's not a healthy situation. Dad doesn't want us to go but we need to. What should I do? Compromise for the sake of dad and settle nearby? Or go 2+ hours away by car, leaving dad to live alone (he has my sister down the road and loads of friends and other family)? He will live alone in either case as living with him is not an option. It feels heartbreaking, I don't want to let anyone down but I need to live my own life. 

 

Any advice from people in similar situations much appreciated as I am struggling so much right now.

[missingmom21]

Hello. I have recently found myself in a somewhat similar situation, though the details differ. My mom died suddenly 3 weeks ago after I had moved home for a period of time, and I find myself now living with only my dad, with whom I have always had trouble connecting. I wish I had something more helpful to say, but mainly, I wanted you to know you aren't the only one torn between guilt and the desire to live your own life. As you said, your father would be living alone but not really alone with family (including your sister) and friends nearby, but that is still a really difficult decision. Especially after such a big loss when even simple decisions feel hard. I apologize for wasting your time by not offering advice, but I do appreciate you sharing your situation. And I hope you can find peace in doing whatever you choose/need to do.