Members Popular Post Roxeanne Posted June 6, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 6, 2021 I'm asking to myself: am i so weak and vulnerable after the loss of my loved one that someone can make me feel so unhappy again ? An old friend did an insensitive thing to me and i'm crying, missing my love so much, closed in my house letting the darkness invade the house like the first months after my loss...feeling so lost in a hostile world ! One step forward and two steps back? I would like to stick two fingers in his eyes to my ex friend , for making me feel that way again ! 2 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post LMR Posted June 6, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 6, 2021 Roseanne, I am so sorry that your ex friend has made you feel this way. We are forever teetering on that edge and they just don't get it. We are not weak but we are vulnerable, it can be such a little thing that will rock our world anew because the pain is always there. We are just hiding from it. I had a mini meltdown at the library yesterday. They have always been so nice to us and to me since I lost my love. All she said was that it was nice to see me smile! I had to turn away. It takes everything to act normal. It has been a rough week, full of meltdowns. Its been nine months but it isn't any easier. 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Sparky1 Posted June 6, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 6, 2021 14 minutes ago, LMR said: Its been nine months but it isn't any easier. Roxanne, I feel for you. Having an insensitive friend hurt you while you're still grieving is a very horrible thing to do to someone. LMR, it seems like the grieving never ends. In my case, the last little while I have been missing my wife more than ever and the grieving has brought floods of tears that come very easily. The longing and loneliness is literally painful, I know for me it also has not been any easier. How I long to be with my wife, to hold her, talk to her, kiss her, just to see her beautiful smile again. 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post LMR Posted June 6, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 6, 2021 Sparky. I know from your other posts that you are in as much pain as I am. Nothing really helps, at least not yet. I keep thinking - just one more hug, I'll settle for that. 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Sparky1 Posted June 6, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 6, 2021 19 minutes ago, LMR said: Sparky. I know from your other posts that you are in as much pain as I am. Nothing really helps, at least not yet. I keep thinking - just one more hug, I'll settle for that. I never imagined that losing my wife would be so traumatic, yet I understand why it's so traumatic and to me it's normal to feel like I do. We've lost a part of our being, an actual hole in our lives if you will. We become a unit when we are together, now I feel that I'm less than a whole. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JoyR Posted June 7, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2021 6 hours ago, Roxeanne said: I'm asking to myself: am i so weak and vulnerable after the loss of my loved one that someone can make me feel so unhappy again ? An old friend did an insensitive thing to me and i'm crying, missing my love so much, closed in my house letting the darkness invade the house like the first months after my loss...feeling so lost in a hostile world ! One step forward and two steps back? I would like to stick two fingers in his eyes to my ex friend , for making me feel that way again ! Wow if this isn’t currently me right now. Finding myself in shock because my love would Never!. So sorry ur hurt . 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steveb Posted June 7, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2021 12 hours ago, LMR said: We are not weak but we are vulnerable, it can be such a little thing that will rock our world anew because the pain is always there. Your words are right on point LMR. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 7, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted June 7, 2021 17 hours ago, Roxeanne said: I'm asking to myself: am i so weak and vulnerable after the loss of my loved one that someone can make me feel so unhappy again ? Yes, they say sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you. Not true. I had someone put down my brain (not jokingly but disparagingly) seven times Friday! It hurt. She's 12 years younger than me and has no idea what aging is like...but she will know someday. I hope her unkindness comes to mind then so she can feel remorse and change. I know my brain isn't what it was in my 20s, I'll be 70 next year, of course it isn't! But I also know this person was unkind to do that and it's her problem, not mine. I'm glad you say it's an EX-friend. I'm sorry you went through that. Not what you need! Friends who Stop Being Good Friends Friends, letdown Friendship: Why I Not Longer Hold Onto Relationships That No Longer Serve Me 11 hours ago, JoyR said: Wow if this isn’t currently me right now. Finding myself in shock because my love would Never!. I'm sorry, Joy. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ScotJ65 Posted June 7, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2021 17 hours ago, Roxeanne said: ...feeling so lost in a hostile world ! Hi Roxeanne. That's how I've often felt too. People can be thoughtless at the best of times. But to be so insensitive when you're at you're lowest ebb is just awful. I hope you have other friends / family members who can sympathise with you and give you the support you so desperately need at this time. Please keep venting on here also, because we understand exactly what you're going through. God bless. James. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Diane R. E. Posted June 7, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2021 Hi Roxeanne; I'm so sorry that happened to you. One of my sisters is like that and she recently messaged me with a passive-aggressive comment that was a low blow. That kind of thing sets off a new wave of grief because we know our partner would never have treated us like that. And also because we can't talk to them about it - my husband always had such a good perspective when such things happened. (((Hugs))) 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roxeanne Posted June 7, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2021 1 hour ago, Diane R. E. said: And also because we can't talk to them about it - my husband always had such a good perspective when such things happened. (((Hugs))) Yes this is the point!..frustrations of all kind happened in life, but what disoriented me now is that i no longer have my love to talk about it, to laugh about it...to lessen the pain and the feeling of helplessness! I miss so much his continued tender support and the unforgettable feeling of being " two" against the world whatever happens! I think everyone in this forum knows what i'm talking about! Thanks everybody for your kind words...and for being here! Ciao Roxi 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members annie123 Posted June 8, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2021 I miss my husbands calm and sensible perspective on everything. He gave the best advice......Was always fair and kind. I miss him every day.... It will be 8 months on June 10 and I still can't believe that he is never coming back.....But, most days I honestly can't wish him back, (even if that was possible) It would be selfish of me, because if he was back, he would be in pain and he suffered way too much. I have to remind myself of this, no more suffering for my love, no more pain........(but some days, I want to be selfish) 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 9, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted June 9, 2021 Annie, I understand, I feel the same way. Know that all of your feelings are valid and it doesn't make us selfish to miss/want them. Overall we want what's best for them but there are different things we're looking at both when we realize they're free from pain and when we're overcome with missing them. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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