Grieving in my 20s

[Madlo]

Hello all- 

I am 27 years old and a mother to 3 children. When I was 18 my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 aggressive prostate cancer. In my 20’s my aunt (who is like a second mom to me) was diagnosed with 5 different cancers. When I was 25 my mom was diagnosed with stage 3 triple negative breast cancer (VERY aggressive). She did treatment for about a year and then went into remission for only 3 months before finding out in august that it was in her bones. From august until January she fought like hell. She worked full time during treatments. Was the best mom and grandma on the planet.. in February she took a turn and in 10 days she went from her normal self to hospice, and died only 1 day after entering hospice. The cancer had invaded her kidneys, liver, all up and down her legs. She went to chemo on feb 19th and was sent straight to the ER. Was transferred to another hospital, came home the 26th, died the 27th. Her death was so unexpected and traumatic. 3 weeks later my aunt (her sister) passed away. I watched them both take their last breaths.. since then I have nightmares I can’t breath. I’ll wake up gasping for air. I’m assuming this is anxiety. My mom was 55 and my aunt was 57. They were literal angels on earth and I am so lost without them. It’s been 3 months since mom died and 2 since my aunt died and days are only getting harder. When does it get easier? 

[LostDaughter2021]

I’m so sorry about both of your losses. That’s a lot to handle at once. My mom passed away on Jan. 18th from heart failure and covid and I still have anxiety attacks. It hasn’t gotten easier but I’m trying to live life for the sake of my 2 young kids. I cry almost every day and I think about her absolutely every day. The pain is unbearable at times. I was singing a hymn the other day and when I looked at my 4 year old, she had tears streaming down her face. She said we used to sing that song to Nana.

 I try to calm down and think what would my mom want for me at this moment. It’s going to hurt. You have to go through the pain, not around it. Do you have someone you can go to when the pain sets in bad? I can wake my husband up at odd hours and he knows why without me saying anything. Just knowing that I’m not alone helps.

[Lost now]

On 5/17/2021 at 4:33 PM, Madlo said:

Hello all- 

I am 27 years old and a mother to 3 children. When I was 18 my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 aggressive prostate cancer. In my 20’s my aunt (who is like a second mom to me) was diagnosed with 5 different cancers. When I was 25 my mom was diagnosed with stage 3 triple negative breast cancer (VERY aggressive). She did treatment for about a year and then went into remission for only 3 months before finding out in august that it was in her bones. From august until January she fought like hell. She worked full time during treatments. Was the best mom and grandma on the planet.. in February she took a turn and in 10 days she went from her normal self to hospice, and died only 1 day after entering hospice. The cancer had invaded her kidneys, liver, all up and down her legs. She went to chemo on feb 19th and was sent straight to the ER. Was transferred to another hospital, came home the 26th, died the 27th. Her death was so unexpected and traumatic. 3 weeks later my aunt (her sister) passed away. I watched them both take their last breaths.. since then I have nightmares I can’t breath. I’ll wake up gasping for air. I’m assuming this is anxiety. My mom was 55 and my aunt was 57. They were literal angels on earth and I am so lost without them. It’s been 3 months since mom died and 2 since my aunt died and days are only getting harder. When does it get easier? 

So sorry for your losses. You are not alone. My mom passed away over a month ago. She was only 58 and got a cardiac arrest. It was sudden and unexpected because she was fit and had no illnesses. I am in deep pain. I know how you are feeling. I don't think it will ever get easier. People say it does but I don't think it will for me. Do you have any siblings whom you can talk to? Don't be alone. Talk to them and talk here. Everyone in this group is going through similar losses. 

Your mom and aunt are around you all the time. They are not going to leave you.