starting again

[molly]

I loss my son on July 18, 2011 and my world now feels like it is over, I was a single mom and my son was everything to me, he was just 16 and died from cardiac arrhythmia. I seriously don't know how I am going to continue on. He was the most loving, funny and caring son ever. My heart is shattered my body is numb and my whole world has been flipped up side down. I have great friends and support and they have been giving me advice and telling me to be strong and it will just take time but I can't see how time could ever take this pain away and I just can't focus on the rest of my life without my beautiful son. I know others have loss dear ones to them and every day someone loses a child but this is my child and it just seems impossible that this could happen to us/to me. He loved life he was social, he didn't do drugs or get involved in any illegal activity and yet he wasn't given a chance to be who he could be, I wasn't given a chance to see who he could become. He was well loved by so many and I am proud of that, yet this pain unbelievable. The only thing that I think can help me is speaking to others who have lost their children, because no one around me understands this pain.

[shorty16]

4ever

So sorry you have to be here, but here is the place to be. With others that have experienced the same loss as you - the loss of a child. On 6-19-2008, my son, Brian was 16 when he made a bad decision with a vehicle that ended his life. My son was healthy, vibrant, and a bit of a risk-taker.

Yes, the pain is unbearable, yes you can think of nothing else other than the loss of your child. And yes, everything you set down you lose. We have all been there and now we are finding that we can live life again, but it takes a LONG TIME.

Be kind to yourself. Now, you are still in shock. Your mind, body, and soul have gone through a tremendous tragedy. Drink plenty of water and sleep whenever you can. Please tell us about your boy.

We post on the thread "Loss of an Adult Child" My son was not an adult, but I am accepted without quesiton and you will too.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[westleysmom]

4Ever-I'm so so sorry. I lost my only son Westley (I have a daughter) last January 13 suddenly. He died in his sleep at a friend's house. I have been coming here since last summer and the friends here all understand. We have all lost a child that we would have died for, some have lost grandchildren. Some have lost more than one child. But we all get it. Please know that you are not alone and others understand and are here for you. Knowing how others have dealt with their loss and grief and loneliness for their child helps so much. Come back and tell more about your lovely son who sounds like a mother's dream. I mostly post on loss of adult child and I've made so many friends there. Hugs to you

[deepbluezz]

I loss my son on July 18, 2011 and my world now feels like it is over, I was a single mom and my son was everything to me, he was just 16 and died from cardiac arrhythmia. I seriously don't know how I am going to continue on. He was the most loving, funny and caring son ever. My heart is shattered my body is numb and my whole world has been flipped up side down. I have great friends and support and they have been giving me advice and telling me to be strong and it will just take time but I can't see how time could ever take this pain away and I just can't focus on the rest of my life without my beautiful son. I know others have loss dear ones to them and every day someone loses a child but this is my child and it just seems impossible that this could happen to us/to me. He loved life he was social, he didn't do drugs or get involved in any illegal activity and yet he wasn't given a chance to be who he could be, I wasn't given a chance to see who he could become. He was well loved by so many and I am proud of that, yet this pain unbelievable. The only thing that I think can help me is speaking to others who have lost their children, because no one around me understands this pain.

I understand how you feel, the world does not make sense any more. We felt the pain of bringing our children into this world, we should not have to feel the pain of them leaving this world. I wish I could give you and everyone else here a hug. I don't want to be here, hate the fact we are all here but we need each other. It's a club I pray never has another member. I can't focus on things around me either or the future,but I have another son who needs me more than ever. I will pull it together enough to be strong for him. Sometimes I feel better when I allow myself to cry and cry hard. I love going to the cemetary but lately I come away a mess, so I don't know what to do.

As you, no one around me knows the pain, thank God, but this site is going to help me, I can feel it. Our "normal" is gone and in time we will have a new "normal".

Please take care of yourself, you are imortant to us.

[shellyku]

4ever - I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son...how unnatural for us to watch our

child go before us. Everyone on the Loss of an Adult Child thread knows of what you are

going through. They get it. My daughter, Sarah, died on August 18, 2010 from leukemia.

She was 29 years old and married for only 7 months when she died. My heart breaks more

for her husband and our younger daughter, Jill (who's 27) than it does for me. They were

her future. My daughters were extremely close.

Please do, as it was suggested earlier, come to the Loss of an Adult Child thread of this

website and tell us of your amazing son. He sounds like a wonderful person. It really does

help to share your most gut-wrenching feelings there because the people you are talking

to are unfortunately familiar with what you are going through. You are in my prayers.

[designer2]

4ever,

Your story is so like my own, I had a beautiful son too; his name was Dylan and he died March 21, 2011 at 27. Like your baby he was a shining example of what a son could be and I was so proud of him. His passing was sudden from an appendix rupture. I didn't even get to say good-bye. He and I had a beautiful life together, we were such good friends but like in the song "Where You'd Be Today", "death came and tore the pages all away". He was my only child, and like you I am a single mom. The pain is excrutiating for mothers like us but that same pain is also proof that we had precious and rare relationships with our sons. I wake up some mornings and my breath is taken away with the reality of my loss. But dear, with the passing of each day, God is a little kinder to me. He is gently transforming my pain into remembrance. I remember many things about my son that I had long since forgotten, and they bring me some joy. You must know that the essence of who your son was still lives within you and your family. Lift up your head, say a prayer, remember your son, and live your life. His passing gives it new meaning. Your life is still here; please be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone, for all who walk this journey here love you and God does too.

Cindy