Members Pauline97 Posted May 5, 2021 Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 I'm 23 and I lost my dad 3 months ago very suddenly without having the chance to say goodbye. No one knew he was going to pass as he was still a relatively young man. The grief and guilt is really hitting me. The thing that gets me most is that we never really seen eachother due to a nasty divorce between him and my mother years ago. With the divorce our relationship became non existent and we became bitter towards our dad as a result of him leaving us. We lost touch for 5 years however began meeting up every so often (not often enough now looking back) however we did text on a monthly basis and he would come to our house for tea, biscuits and a catch up. What we didn't know was that he really did care when we saw all of the report cards from school throughout the years, photos he'd printed from our Facebooks, mountains of photo albums he had kept from when we were all together as a family and how much he talked about us to his friends - if only he told us how he felt it would've made our relationship much much different. Throughout the pandemic we hadn't met as much as we would've and that is a hard aspect to get over also. Thankfully I did see him a month before he passed however it was only a brief visit unfortunately. I really did and still do love my dad, I guess what the real problem is is that I feel guilt and regret for not trying more although the other part of me is mad at him for not trying more also. The regret and guilt is a horrible feeling and I just wish we could've tried working harder on our relationship. Sadly, I know we can never change the past but it's difficult to think differently now that the inevitable has happened Has anyone else experienced this and if so how do you learn to accept it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted May 5, 2021 Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 Dear Pauline, I am so sorry for your loss. It is natural and normal to have these thoughts and feelings after losing a parent. It's really hard. I think it takes time to work through our feelings. I honestly don't know if I have ever fully accepted it, but I continue to try 5 years later. I found this article helpful to me. https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/12/grief-and-burden-of-guilt.html There are also many helpful links below this article that address guilt and regret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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